Namaste, all!
I realize this will be arriving a bit early, but I wanted to send out some love to all of you in celebration of Thanksgiving (as it is actually the night of for me).
Being here in the noisy, polluted (yet still somehow tropical and beautiful in the paradoxal way that India is) city of Trivandrum awaiting our flight to Goa tomorrow morning, I can't help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude....for the opportunity I've had to experience all of the wonders of travel, to meet such an array of amazing people on the way, and to have such a solid group of extraordinary friends and family members to return home to next week.
...yup, that's right.....NEXT WEEK! I suppose I'll shamelessly admit that I have officially run out of money, and have to cut my trip short by 2 weeks. Typical, right? :) Although I'm actually finding it a bit of a blessing in disguise, as I will still have a full week to laze on the beaches of Goa before I head home. I've been fighting off a nasty cold for the past week or so, and the wear and tear of travel is definitely starting to take it's toll, so I think my return will be timely and highly anticipated on my end. If I'm lucky, maybe I can still catch a few scraps of leftovers from Thanksgiving.....................who am I kidding with my brothers and their appetites! :)
Anyhow, folks, I thought I'd keep this email relatively short and leave you all with some of the things I'm greattful for after traveling around India for 3 months:
-First and foremost, my family for being so supportive of my seemingly senseless dreams and ambitions, and moreso for inspiring me to pursue them with abandon. Each and every one of you is a blessing in my life, and I would surely not be who I am (and certainly where I am) without all of your love and support. I can't wait to see you.
-My friends of every history and calibur...I can't help but look at this list of people who I've been boring with my ridiculously long emails and think how fortunate I am to have such a group of extraordinary people to call my friends. You all embody qualities of beauty and greatness that have touched my life in so many different and profound ways, and I feel infinitely proud to have you in my life. Hearing from you all throughout my travels has kept me sane and grounded and I can't wait to come back and share all my crazy stories with you all (and hear what you've all been up to).
-The people I've met on my travels...from the kids at Ramana's, the other volunteers who became my dear friends, my travel partners, my Lotus House family, my Vipassana co-survivors, the beautiful Israelis, Kristin, and all the other wonderful people who came into my life a bit more briefly...I feel so lucky to have met you all, and hope that we will stay in touch. You will always have a home in California (or wherever I may be).
-The opportunity to travel.....being here in India I have met so many Indian people who are so awestruck by Western tourists. They bombard you with questions that seem, at first, a bit invasive, asking about your quality of life back home, how much money you make, your family, how much it cost you to come to India, etc. They ask about where you've been in India, and once you delve a bit deeper into the conversation, you will - more often than not - learn that they have never even left their hometown, let alone their state or country. They talk about how they could only dream of visiting the Western world to see what life is like outside of the chaos of India. We are SO lucky to have the opportunity to travel the world and experience life in other countries and cultures that are so vastly different from our own. It is an experience that only opens one's eyes to the diversity of human life around the world, but ultimately reveals the oneness of humanity. I urge all of you to take advantage of this opportunity to whatever extent you can. It really is a gift unlike any other.
-The comforts of the Western World.....while traveling is a blessing, it also helps reveal just how lucky we are back in the States (or other Western countries), and how our standard of living is truly exceptional. Some simple things we take for granted that I am right now sorely missing include hot water, drinkable water, grocery stores, peanut butter, real cheese, vegetables other than tomatoes/cucumbers/onions (that's all they have here), spring mattresses, washing machines and DRYERS!!!!!!!!!!, traffic laws that are actually enforced, hot tubs (best invention EVER), higher education, power that stays on the whole day, the ASPCA and other animal rights activists, accessible immunizations for deadly diseases, Whole Foods and Trader Joes, sushi, personal space, ice, margies, smoothies, air conditioning, tofu, Shirley Wongs, good Mexican food, gyms, El Coyote Fridays, Cat & Fiddle nights, and all the other little day to day things that we roll our eyes at that really aren't all that bad at all.
-Finally, I'm thankful that our country seems to be taking some positive steps forward with the outcome of the recent Congressional elections. It definitely eases my mind a bit to return home knowing that there may be hope of stopping the powers that be from wreaking more havoc on the world. The newstands here are just as full of headlines about the elections, and even the rickshaw drivers ask me about it almost every day. It's scary to think how much of an affect we have on the world at large, but empowering to know it may be possible to turn things around and hopefully make a POSITIVE impact going forward.
Anyway, folks, I guess it was a bit longer than expected, but nonetheless...Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I love you all, and can't wait to see you soon. And to those of you I won't be seeing soon....much love to you wherever you may be!
Much love
Cass
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Saturday, November 18, 2006
Mass Email - Paradise Found
Namaste all...
Well, I am now more than 3/4 of the way into my journey, with less than a month left in India!! It's quite hard to believe, as it seems the time has flown by, but at the same time, I feel as though I have lived a lifetime of experiences throughout my travels.
Arriving in the south was exciting, as this is the "vacation" part of my trip, but also a bit bittersweet to know that I am on the last leg of my travels, and already have so many warm memories to look back upon.
My time in Kochi was short but extremely positive. On my first day there, I met several very nice people with whom I shared some traditional Keralan ceremonies, as well as some traditional Keralan meals. One of the girls, Kristin, an adorable young woman from Australia (who has been living in the UK for the past 4 years) and I became close friends very quickly, and after spending a few days exploring Kochi together, we decided to take a 10 day trip further south down the coast together to spend 2 nights at Amma's Ashram, and the remainder of the time in Varkala Beach, and then fly up to Goa on the 24th.
Kochi (aka Fort Cochin) was a very peaceful ("shanti shanti" as they say here in India) small town located close to the Ocean with quite a few smaller islands off the coast (which, unfortunately, I never got a chance to see). It was the perfect combination of a small town feel with amazing tropical weather, complete with swaying coconut trees, colorful birds, fresh fish to eat, and the most incredible tropical storms that hit every night like clockwork for about an hour, lighting the town with flashes of lightning and sending thunder echoing down the alleyways. The town was small enough that one could walk around safely without getting lost, and tended to run into the same people every day, which is nice when traveling alone. I stayed at this small, family-run homestay called Wilson's Homestay, and quickly became very close friends with Wilson's mother and their "servant," Asha. I would spend hours in the mornings with them, helping them make breakfast, helping them with laundry (which is quite a task in India, let me tell you) and talking to them about anything and everything we were able to communicate between my lack of Hindi and their lack of English skills. They, like most of the women I've found here in India, were absolutely magnificent people with such warm hearts and an openness unlike any found in the states in most cases. They cried when I left, and begged me to write and send them photos of the 3 of us that I had taken with my camera. A beautiful time..
Kristin and I caught a taxi to Alleppey, a town about an hour south of Kochi, where we caught our backwater ferry the next morning to take us to Amma's Ashram. The 6 hour backwater ferry ride was surreal, as I felt I was drifting through a picturesque postcard or National Geographic documentary. Kristin and I talked about how easy it is to become desensitized to the beauty around us, as it really is quite unreal, yet all encompassing. We watched as incredibly-constructed bamboo houseboats drifted past us, tourists waving as the Indian men steered the boat along with very long bamboo rods they used to push from the bottom of the rivers. We caught snapshots of people's lives as we passed homes, schools, towns, women doing laundry, people bathing, workers in the fields, and children screaming from the shores asking us for pens.
We stopped halfway for lunch at the only building constructed on the land we were passing which was a restaurant apparently run for the sole purpose of feeding ferry passengers. They served us all traditional Keralan dishes on banana leaves....a huge pile of rice, several curries, a fried fish, and a quarter of a pineapple....all of which we had to eat "Indian style" with our fingers, which was interesting to say the least. The food was delicious though.
We arrived at Amma's Ashram around 4, and were amazed to see that it was an ENORMOUS highrise in the middle of miles and miles of coconut trees, rivers, and the ocean on the western side. It was quite an impressive facility, and the atmosphere was quite a bit to take in, as over 2000 devotees live there, walking around in their bleached white saris. There was a huge temple in the middle, surrounded by buildings housing visitors, as well as many shops, cafes and support centers. We had to do "seva" (service) in order to stay there, so we ended up doing dishes in the Western cafe and meeting some very nice (but very fanatical) devotees from around the world who had been living there for many years. We spent the rest of our time meditating, and watching the sunsets from our 15th floor view looking out over the ocean which lay a mere 300 feet in front of us. It was spectacular.
Yesterday we departed Amma's and arrived here in Varkala Beach, which is truly Paradise Found. We are staying at an oceanside guesthouse hidden among coconut trees with perfect little balconies facing the ocean, and absolutely everything we could possibly need within a stone's throw of us (restaurants, yoga centers, a German Bakery, internet, a beauty center for pedicures, massages and facials, shops, tailors, and most importantly a private beach along the legendary North Cliffs of Varkala). Today it has been raining all day, impeding our beach time, but making for a perfect opportunity to sit out on our balconies watching the ocean and catching up on some reading. Tomorrow I start a 3-day cooking class at one of the restaurants next door where I learn how to make traditional keralan thalis (which we sampled last night and are AWESOME)! I'm really excited to stick around here for a week or so before heading to Goa, and I'm even toying with the idea of staying for 2 weeks, and spending my last 2 weeks in Goa rather than having the extra week to leave open. We'll see, though...one never knows what will happen....the joy of traveling. :)
For now, I am soaking up the paradise around me, and enjoying my final days in India, awaiting what will come along next....
I hope everyone is well at home. It was great talking to some of you the past few days. I can't wait to get a chance to see you all in a month or so.
Much love,
Cass
Well, I am now more than 3/4 of the way into my journey, with less than a month left in India!! It's quite hard to believe, as it seems the time has flown by, but at the same time, I feel as though I have lived a lifetime of experiences throughout my travels.
Arriving in the south was exciting, as this is the "vacation" part of my trip, but also a bit bittersweet to know that I am on the last leg of my travels, and already have so many warm memories to look back upon.
My time in Kochi was short but extremely positive. On my first day there, I met several very nice people with whom I shared some traditional Keralan ceremonies, as well as some traditional Keralan meals. One of the girls, Kristin, an adorable young woman from Australia (who has been living in the UK for the past 4 years) and I became close friends very quickly, and after spending a few days exploring Kochi together, we decided to take a 10 day trip further south down the coast together to spend 2 nights at Amma's Ashram, and the remainder of the time in Varkala Beach, and then fly up to Goa on the 24th.
Kochi (aka Fort Cochin) was a very peaceful ("shanti shanti" as they say here in India) small town located close to the Ocean with quite a few smaller islands off the coast (which, unfortunately, I never got a chance to see). It was the perfect combination of a small town feel with amazing tropical weather, complete with swaying coconut trees, colorful birds, fresh fish to eat, and the most incredible tropical storms that hit every night like clockwork for about an hour, lighting the town with flashes of lightning and sending thunder echoing down the alleyways. The town was small enough that one could walk around safely without getting lost, and tended to run into the same people every day, which is nice when traveling alone. I stayed at this small, family-run homestay called Wilson's Homestay, and quickly became very close friends with Wilson's mother and their "servant," Asha. I would spend hours in the mornings with them, helping them make breakfast, helping them with laundry (which is quite a task in India, let me tell you) and talking to them about anything and everything we were able to communicate between my lack of Hindi and their lack of English skills. They, like most of the women I've found here in India, were absolutely magnificent people with such warm hearts and an openness unlike any found in the states in most cases. They cried when I left, and begged me to write and send them photos of the 3 of us that I had taken with my camera. A beautiful time..
Kristin and I caught a taxi to Alleppey, a town about an hour south of Kochi, where we caught our backwater ferry the next morning to take us to Amma's Ashram. The 6 hour backwater ferry ride was surreal, as I felt I was drifting through a picturesque postcard or National Geographic documentary. Kristin and I talked about how easy it is to become desensitized to the beauty around us, as it really is quite unreal, yet all encompassing. We watched as incredibly-constructed bamboo houseboats drifted past us, tourists waving as the Indian men steered the boat along with very long bamboo rods they used to push from the bottom of the rivers. We caught snapshots of people's lives as we passed homes, schools, towns, women doing laundry, people bathing, workers in the fields, and children screaming from the shores asking us for pens.
We stopped halfway for lunch at the only building constructed on the land we were passing which was a restaurant apparently run for the sole purpose of feeding ferry passengers. They served us all traditional Keralan dishes on banana leaves....a huge pile of rice, several curries, a fried fish, and a quarter of a pineapple....all of which we had to eat "Indian style" with our fingers, which was interesting to say the least. The food was delicious though.
We arrived at Amma's Ashram around 4, and were amazed to see that it was an ENORMOUS highrise in the middle of miles and miles of coconut trees, rivers, and the ocean on the western side. It was quite an impressive facility, and the atmosphere was quite a bit to take in, as over 2000 devotees live there, walking around in their bleached white saris. There was a huge temple in the middle, surrounded by buildings housing visitors, as well as many shops, cafes and support centers. We had to do "seva" (service) in order to stay there, so we ended up doing dishes in the Western cafe and meeting some very nice (but very fanatical) devotees from around the world who had been living there for many years. We spent the rest of our time meditating, and watching the sunsets from our 15th floor view looking out over the ocean which lay a mere 300 feet in front of us. It was spectacular.
Yesterday we departed Amma's and arrived here in Varkala Beach, which is truly Paradise Found. We are staying at an oceanside guesthouse hidden among coconut trees with perfect little balconies facing the ocean, and absolutely everything we could possibly need within a stone's throw of us (restaurants, yoga centers, a German Bakery, internet, a beauty center for pedicures, massages and facials, shops, tailors, and most importantly a private beach along the legendary North Cliffs of Varkala). Today it has been raining all day, impeding our beach time, but making for a perfect opportunity to sit out on our balconies watching the ocean and catching up on some reading. Tomorrow I start a 3-day cooking class at one of the restaurants next door where I learn how to make traditional keralan thalis (which we sampled last night and are AWESOME)! I'm really excited to stick around here for a week or so before heading to Goa, and I'm even toying with the idea of staying for 2 weeks, and spending my last 2 weeks in Goa rather than having the extra week to leave open. We'll see, though...one never knows what will happen....the joy of traveling. :)
For now, I am soaking up the paradise around me, and enjoying my final days in India, awaiting what will come along next....
I hope everyone is well at home. It was great talking to some of you the past few days. I can't wait to get a chance to see you all in a month or so.
Much love,
Cass
Friday, November 10, 2006
Mass Email - Flying Solo in Kerala
Namaste all!
Ahhh...the life of a traveler....how it can change like a gust of wind....and so it has!
It has been many days and even more adventures since I've last written, so I suppose at least a synopsis is due.
Raydene and I spent about 10 days in Jaipur which, to me, was just a bit too many. Jaipur was an amazing city, but very large and extremely chaotic. We did, however, manage to do most of our Christmas shopping there, as it is the shopping capital of India (so we've been told), specializing in jewelry, clothing, shoes, fabrics, you name it. We also met some very interesting locals, a few of whom Raydene has become very close with. We used these connections to get good prices on jewelry, and - more importantly - to score some motorcycle rides to some more remote areas of Jaipur and outside the city. There were some amazing temples and forts in the surrounding hills which provided for some very scenic drives, idyllic sunsets and awesome photos.
After our over-stayed welcome in Jaipur, we ended up catching a ride on the back of the motorcyles of two rickshaw drivers we had befriended from Jaipur to take us the 3 hours to Pushkar, where we were to catch the famous Camel Festival. Despite having to spend most of the drive there slapping my drivers hands away from my leg and various other body parts, the drive was actually really amazing. We ended up leaving a bit late, which made for a perfect arrival into Pushkar, as we caught the sunset with the desert wind in our hair and the enormous, bright, red orb sinking slowly into the distant desert mountains. I reached for my camera to capture this scene, but decided to opt for a mental picture instead, as a photo could never capture the full gamet of the moment. It was, however, one of my favorites.
Pushkar was an incredible city, and I fell in love with it immediately. Raydene and I stayed at seperate hotels, as she had come with a "male friend" of hers from Jaipur, and I opted to stay out of such affairs. Therefore, I spent our 3 days in Pushkar happily exploring the city on my own, and ended up meeting some beautiful Israeli travelers my age with whom I became very close and spent the majority of my time. It was a bit surprising, as most of the Israelis in India (of which there are MANY) tend to travel in groups and not generally interact with other backpackers, so I was pleasantly surprised to meet these 4 people who were open to (and actually prefered) travelers from other countries. We did a lot of exploring around the outskirts of the city, and managed to catch the famous sunsets on the lake every single night.
Pushkar is a rather small city which is centered around a small lake (thought to be a teardrop from one of the Hindi gods...I can't remember which). It is a holy city, so many people come to bathe in the ghats surrounding the lake, and during the camel festival (which is actually just a sideshow of a sequence of holy days) the pilgrims seemed to appear tenfold. Every night at sunset people would gather around the lake, as local men banged on drums, as if to welcome the setting sun to its rest behind the desert hills. During the festival, candles were lit on the steps around the entire lake, making for a picturesque scene as bathers and tourists basked in the warm glow reflecting off the water. These sunsets were some of my most cherished memories of my trip thus far.
On my last night, before leaving on my 10pm bus, my friends and I decided to climb one of the nearby hills to catch the sunset from the top. The walk took us about an hour, as we stopped quite often to take pictures and admire the view that became increasingly breathtaking as we climbed higher and higher. At about halfway, an old Indian woman with eyes that sparkled more than her bright blue sari smiled and grabbed my hand, and we walked together in silence for the rest of the climb, helping each other up the steep stone stairs that led to the temple at the top. She did not speak a word of english, so we did little more than smile at one another, but the gesture spoke volumes and it was one of the most beautiful connections I've felt.
We reached the top and hiked out past the temple to the cliffs looking West over the barren desert. The 5 of us, and one solitary sadhu, sat on serperate rocks in silence as we watched the sky turn red, and then violet as the sun dissolved into the dusty desert sky. It was spectacular, and a perfect farewell to my Israeli friends and to the magical city of Pushkar.
Our bus arrived in Jailsamer (eastern Rajasthan, about 200km from Pakistan) in the morning and we arrived at our hotel in time to eat breakfast and take a swim in the pool outside our door (a coveted luxury). Jailsamer was a quaint town with a beautiful but typical Rajasthani fort, but I dont think either of us felt a connection with the city like some we've felt with other cities we've visited, particularly in the north. We aquiesced to the tourist stereotype and decided to take a 2 day/1 night camel safari. The 10 hours or so spent on the camels were probably some of the most painful and uncomfortable I've ever experienced, but the desert scenes were unparalleled. We watched the sunset from the Sam Sand dunes, and I truly felt that I was in a National Geographic special, seeing the vastness of the windblown dunes (complete with dune beatles, which I got a kick out of) and watching yet another fantastic sunset in the desert. As we were riding into our camp, I looked east and saw a HUGE, red orb in the sky. I was confused, having just watched the sunset and having ridden through the dark desert for about an hour since. Then it suddenly occured to me that it was the night of the Purnima (full moon), and that I was, in fact, witnessing a moonrise that I couldn't have possibly dreamed up. Despite my sore ass, I rode in complete awe the rest of the way to camp.
We spent the remaining couple of days relaxing by the pool in Jailsamer, and then departed by bus to Amedhabad to catch a flight to Mumbai, and then on to Kerala (down south). I had gotten food poisoning the night before we left, so the 12 hour bus ride was not very enjoyable for me, but I was feeling better once we arrived in Mumbai, and we spent our 6 hour layover running errands and taking a brief tour of the city (which very closely resembles Miami in climate and surroundings). On the drive back to the airport to catch our connecting flight, Raydene and I decided that we were ready to part ways, and I continued on to Kerala on my own. The initial feeling of being alone in India once more was admittedly a bit unnerving at first, but once I got on the plane, I felt overwhelmed with freedom and excitement of the prospects of being on my own to do as I choose for the remaining 5 weeks.
So, here I am in beautiful and tropical Kerala!! I am currently staying in Fort Cochin (also known as Kochi) which is an adorable and colorful town, bustling with locals and toursits, and a 5 minute walk from the sea. Having just arrived late last night, I have been spending today exploring the town and getting to know the people in the area. I think I will end up staying here for about a week or so, and then possibly heading south to Kanyakumari (the very tip of India where three oceans converge), and then either back to Kerala or straight up to Goa.
For those of you interested, I have a new cell phone number down here which I'll probably have for the remainder of my trip (unless I have to change it again in Goa).
The number is: 9846898445
for those calling from the US, dial: 001-91-9846898445
For those calling from India, dial: 0-9846898445
I know it's tough for those of you at home, but I would LOVE to hear from anyone, especially being alone. It was great to talk to those of you who called (thank you!), and if you want I can give you a calling card number to use so it's free for both of us (incoming calls are free for me). Or, you can email me your phone number and I'll give you a call.
I hope all is well back home, or in your travels...wherever you may be.
Much love to all
Cass
Ahhh...the life of a traveler....how it can change like a gust of wind....and so it has!
It has been many days and even more adventures since I've last written, so I suppose at least a synopsis is due.
Raydene and I spent about 10 days in Jaipur which, to me, was just a bit too many. Jaipur was an amazing city, but very large and extremely chaotic. We did, however, manage to do most of our Christmas shopping there, as it is the shopping capital of India (so we've been told), specializing in jewelry, clothing, shoes, fabrics, you name it. We also met some very interesting locals, a few of whom Raydene has become very close with. We used these connections to get good prices on jewelry, and - more importantly - to score some motorcycle rides to some more remote areas of Jaipur and outside the city. There were some amazing temples and forts in the surrounding hills which provided for some very scenic drives, idyllic sunsets and awesome photos.
After our over-stayed welcome in Jaipur, we ended up catching a ride on the back of the motorcyles of two rickshaw drivers we had befriended from Jaipur to take us the 3 hours to Pushkar, where we were to catch the famous Camel Festival. Despite having to spend most of the drive there slapping my drivers hands away from my leg and various other body parts, the drive was actually really amazing. We ended up leaving a bit late, which made for a perfect arrival into Pushkar, as we caught the sunset with the desert wind in our hair and the enormous, bright, red orb sinking slowly into the distant desert mountains. I reached for my camera to capture this scene, but decided to opt for a mental picture instead, as a photo could never capture the full gamet of the moment. It was, however, one of my favorites.
Pushkar was an incredible city, and I fell in love with it immediately. Raydene and I stayed at seperate hotels, as she had come with a "male friend" of hers from Jaipur, and I opted to stay out of such affairs. Therefore, I spent our 3 days in Pushkar happily exploring the city on my own, and ended up meeting some beautiful Israeli travelers my age with whom I became very close and spent the majority of my time. It was a bit surprising, as most of the Israelis in India (of which there are MANY) tend to travel in groups and not generally interact with other backpackers, so I was pleasantly surprised to meet these 4 people who were open to (and actually prefered) travelers from other countries. We did a lot of exploring around the outskirts of the city, and managed to catch the famous sunsets on the lake every single night.
Pushkar is a rather small city which is centered around a small lake (thought to be a teardrop from one of the Hindi gods...I can't remember which). It is a holy city, so many people come to bathe in the ghats surrounding the lake, and during the camel festival (which is actually just a sideshow of a sequence of holy days) the pilgrims seemed to appear tenfold. Every night at sunset people would gather around the lake, as local men banged on drums, as if to welcome the setting sun to its rest behind the desert hills. During the festival, candles were lit on the steps around the entire lake, making for a picturesque scene as bathers and tourists basked in the warm glow reflecting off the water. These sunsets were some of my most cherished memories of my trip thus far.
On my last night, before leaving on my 10pm bus, my friends and I decided to climb one of the nearby hills to catch the sunset from the top. The walk took us about an hour, as we stopped quite often to take pictures and admire the view that became increasingly breathtaking as we climbed higher and higher. At about halfway, an old Indian woman with eyes that sparkled more than her bright blue sari smiled and grabbed my hand, and we walked together in silence for the rest of the climb, helping each other up the steep stone stairs that led to the temple at the top. She did not speak a word of english, so we did little more than smile at one another, but the gesture spoke volumes and it was one of the most beautiful connections I've felt.
We reached the top and hiked out past the temple to the cliffs looking West over the barren desert. The 5 of us, and one solitary sadhu, sat on serperate rocks in silence as we watched the sky turn red, and then violet as the sun dissolved into the dusty desert sky. It was spectacular, and a perfect farewell to my Israeli friends and to the magical city of Pushkar.
Our bus arrived in Jailsamer (eastern Rajasthan, about 200km from Pakistan) in the morning and we arrived at our hotel in time to eat breakfast and take a swim in the pool outside our door (a coveted luxury). Jailsamer was a quaint town with a beautiful but typical Rajasthani fort, but I dont think either of us felt a connection with the city like some we've felt with other cities we've visited, particularly in the north. We aquiesced to the tourist stereotype and decided to take a 2 day/1 night camel safari. The 10 hours or so spent on the camels were probably some of the most painful and uncomfortable I've ever experienced, but the desert scenes were unparalleled. We watched the sunset from the Sam Sand dunes, and I truly felt that I was in a National Geographic special, seeing the vastness of the windblown dunes (complete with dune beatles, which I got a kick out of) and watching yet another fantastic sunset in the desert. As we were riding into our camp, I looked east and saw a HUGE, red orb in the sky. I was confused, having just watched the sunset and having ridden through the dark desert for about an hour since. Then it suddenly occured to me that it was the night of the Purnima (full moon), and that I was, in fact, witnessing a moonrise that I couldn't have possibly dreamed up. Despite my sore ass, I rode in complete awe the rest of the way to camp.
We spent the remaining couple of days relaxing by the pool in Jailsamer, and then departed by bus to Amedhabad to catch a flight to Mumbai, and then on to Kerala (down south). I had gotten food poisoning the night before we left, so the 12 hour bus ride was not very enjoyable for me, but I was feeling better once we arrived in Mumbai, and we spent our 6 hour layover running errands and taking a brief tour of the city (which very closely resembles Miami in climate and surroundings). On the drive back to the airport to catch our connecting flight, Raydene and I decided that we were ready to part ways, and I continued on to Kerala on my own. The initial feeling of being alone in India once more was admittedly a bit unnerving at first, but once I got on the plane, I felt overwhelmed with freedom and excitement of the prospects of being on my own to do as I choose for the remaining 5 weeks.
So, here I am in beautiful and tropical Kerala!! I am currently staying in Fort Cochin (also known as Kochi) which is an adorable and colorful town, bustling with locals and toursits, and a 5 minute walk from the sea. Having just arrived late last night, I have been spending today exploring the town and getting to know the people in the area. I think I will end up staying here for about a week or so, and then possibly heading south to Kanyakumari (the very tip of India where three oceans converge), and then either back to Kerala or straight up to Goa.
For those of you interested, I have a new cell phone number down here which I'll probably have for the remainder of my trip (unless I have to change it again in Goa).
The number is: 9846898445
for those calling from the US, dial: 001-91-9846898445
For those calling from India, dial: 0-9846898445
I know it's tough for those of you at home, but I would LOVE to hear from anyone, especially being alone. It was great to talk to those of you who called (thank you!), and if you want I can give you a calling card number to use so it's free for both of us (incoming calls are free for me). Or, you can email me your phone number and I'll give you a call.
I hope all is well back home, or in your travels...wherever you may be.
Much love to all
Cass
Monday, October 23, 2006
Mass Email - Catching Our Breath
Namaste All!
Well, we have managed to cover a lot of ground in the past few days! We left Manali after spending only about 24 hours there (just enough time to do some shopping and eat the first fish I've had since I left home), and we caught a night bus to Delhi. We were ready to leave Manali, as it was pouring rain and very cold. We had to wait in line to get our bags on the bus for about a half hour in the rain, and ended up soaked during our entire bus ride. Plus, I got stuck next to a snorer who apparently needed some affection, as he kept trying to lay on my shoulder and practically spoon me (apparently this is normal here), so I spent most of the bumpy ride to Delhi pushing him off of me.
Arriving in Delhi was a bit of a shock, as we have been so lucky to have spent the past 2 months in such beautiful mountainous areas with friendly people. Delhi is kind of like LA on acid, and with a bit more trash and pollution (if you can believe it)! The second we stepped foot off the bus we were swarmed by beggars and Rickshaw drivers trying to get our money, but were fortunate to be taken to a decent hotel with ROOM SERVICE and hot water that didnt run out on us during our showers!! The only reason we planned to come to Delhi was to pick up a few things that we can't get anywhere else (like an iPod charger and other electronics) and to mail a package home. However, to our great humor, we happened to arrive on the first day of the Diwali Festival, so everything was closed and we were unable to get any of our errands done. So, instead, we decided to partake in the festivities and make the most of our one night in Delhi!
The Diwali Festival is called the "Festival of Lights," and is supposed to symbolize (among many things) the ridding ourselves of darkness with light. The celebration is kind of like a combonation of Christmas and the 4th of July, as the cities are filled with colorful "Christmas" lights, flowers strung everywhere, and a warzone of fireworks going off constantly. The only shops open for service are the sweets stands, and it is customary to buy and consume copious amounts of sugar-filled ...anything!
We were fortunate to celebrate with an Indian family. Robin, the owner of the Lotus House where we stayed in Dharamsala, lives in Delhi, so we bought a box of sweets, got dolled up and took a 45 minute cab ride to his family's home.
When we got there, Robin was the only one home, but he went out and bought us some customary "Diwali" Food (which was like fried chapati in a sweet sauce with potatoes) and some vodka (NOT customary Diwali comsumptions). We sat in his family's very beautiful, and somewhat western, home and ate, drank and watched "The O.C." I laughed at the fact that the only time I"ve ever watched the show was here in India. After an hour or so, Robin's father came home and we helped them string lights on the house.
Robin's father, a gentle old man with an adorable pot belly, is a Vipassana teacher (as well as a politician, apparently), and when I told him I had just completed my frist 10 day Vipassana course, he insisted that he lead a meditation session. I was thrilled about this, but Raydene and Robin half-assedly participated while giggling in the background. He lit candles and incense, and offered prasad (an offering of sweets) to his statue of Buddha, and set up pillows around the statue for us to sit. He led a chant in Hindi, and talked about Dhamma (Buddha's teachings) in a way that gave me chills because of it's striking reference to Goenka's discourses during the Vipassana course. I was so excited to be in his presence and to hear him speak so passionately about something that I had just been immersed in for 10 days. It felt validating and strangely comforting just to be in the presence of someone who had not only experienced a Vipassana course (as it did with my friends in McLeod), but who was so learned in the teachings. I felt like I wanted to soak up everything he had to say, and I felt humbled by his gentle but penetrating eye contact as he spoke.
Raydene and Robin retreated back to the kitchen, but I stayed with Robin's father and talked to him a bit about my experience at the Vipassana center, and about the friends with whom I had shared the experience. When I told him that we had all parted ways about a week ago, he asked me if I was experiencing any loss in their absence. I told him that I was, and he smiled and nodded knowingly, saying that when people leave a Vipassana course (even their first), they tend to find a strong inner need to surround themselves with people who have practiced Vipassana. He suggested that we sit together and offer Metta to my friends (a meditation offering love and compassion to all living beings). Very moved by his suggestion, I complied. I told him that my friends would be visiting him and Robin soon, and that they would love to sit with him and learn from his experiences, and he assured me he would do so.
After sitting, he showed me his meditation room where people from town come to sit every morning at 6am. He also showed me his antique collection of all the original books of Buddha's teachings (that are over 2500 years old)! He, apparently, has written books condensing these teachings so as to make them more accessible for people to read. Even though it was not necessarily a traditional Diwali celebration, I very much enjoyed my time talking to Robin's father, and felt a great deal of comfort after the past few hectic days of traveling.
Yesterday morning we woke up early and hired a driver to take us through "The Golden Triangle" (Delhi - Agra - Jaipur). We drove about 5 hours to Agra to see the Taj Mahal, which was a surreal experience to be in the presence of one of the less-frequently visited wonders of the world. It was just as beautiful as would be expected, and we soaked up as much of the grounds as we could before heading west to Jaipur.
We arrived in Jaipur last night around 10pm, only to learn that our driver not only didn't speak a word of English, but had never been to Jaipur before! We drove around for about an hour trying to find a guesthouse, when he finally dumped us at a trashy hotel in the middle of the city (which was still a mass of humanity due to the Diwali festivities). After a restless night of fireworks and car horns, we woke up this morning and found ourselves a beautiful guesthouse just outside of the city called the Evergreen Hotel. It lives up to it's name, with beautiful, shady gardens on the grounds, a swimming pool, shops, a restaurant, and an internet cafe!
Being immersed in the city life of India will definitely take some adjusting, but I think we are ready to set some roots here for a week or so (since we bought ourselves some extra time by skipping Nepal). We will most likely stay here until the end of the month before heading to Pushkar for the camel festival, and then onto the other parts of Rajasthan.
Jaipur is a chaotic but colorful city that seems to have a great deal to offer. I'm looking forward to unpacking my backpack for a while and taking some time to lay out at the pool and catch up on some reading, as well as wander the city streets and see what there is to see here.
I hope everyone is well back at home, or wherever you may be. It's always so great to hear from all of you.
Much love,
Cass
Well, we have managed to cover a lot of ground in the past few days! We left Manali after spending only about 24 hours there (just enough time to do some shopping and eat the first fish I've had since I left home), and we caught a night bus to Delhi. We were ready to leave Manali, as it was pouring rain and very cold. We had to wait in line to get our bags on the bus for about a half hour in the rain, and ended up soaked during our entire bus ride. Plus, I got stuck next to a snorer who apparently needed some affection, as he kept trying to lay on my shoulder and practically spoon me (apparently this is normal here), so I spent most of the bumpy ride to Delhi pushing him off of me.
Arriving in Delhi was a bit of a shock, as we have been so lucky to have spent the past 2 months in such beautiful mountainous areas with friendly people. Delhi is kind of like LA on acid, and with a bit more trash and pollution (if you can believe it)! The second we stepped foot off the bus we were swarmed by beggars and Rickshaw drivers trying to get our money, but were fortunate to be taken to a decent hotel with ROOM SERVICE and hot water that didnt run out on us during our showers!! The only reason we planned to come to Delhi was to pick up a few things that we can't get anywhere else (like an iPod charger and other electronics) and to mail a package home. However, to our great humor, we happened to arrive on the first day of the Diwali Festival, so everything was closed and we were unable to get any of our errands done. So, instead, we decided to partake in the festivities and make the most of our one night in Delhi!
The Diwali Festival is called the "Festival of Lights," and is supposed to symbolize (among many things) the ridding ourselves of darkness with light. The celebration is kind of like a combonation of Christmas and the 4th of July, as the cities are filled with colorful "Christmas" lights, flowers strung everywhere, and a warzone of fireworks going off constantly. The only shops open for service are the sweets stands, and it is customary to buy and consume copious amounts of sugar-filled ...anything!
We were fortunate to celebrate with an Indian family. Robin, the owner of the Lotus House where we stayed in Dharamsala, lives in Delhi, so we bought a box of sweets, got dolled up and took a 45 minute cab ride to his family's home.
When we got there, Robin was the only one home, but he went out and bought us some customary "Diwali" Food (which was like fried chapati in a sweet sauce with potatoes) and some vodka (NOT customary Diwali comsumptions). We sat in his family's very beautiful, and somewhat western, home and ate, drank and watched "The O.C." I laughed at the fact that the only time I"ve ever watched the show was here in India. After an hour or so, Robin's father came home and we helped them string lights on the house.
Robin's father, a gentle old man with an adorable pot belly, is a Vipassana teacher (as well as a politician, apparently), and when I told him I had just completed my frist 10 day Vipassana course, he insisted that he lead a meditation session. I was thrilled about this, but Raydene and Robin half-assedly participated while giggling in the background. He lit candles and incense, and offered prasad (an offering of sweets) to his statue of Buddha, and set up pillows around the statue for us to sit. He led a chant in Hindi, and talked about Dhamma (Buddha's teachings) in a way that gave me chills because of it's striking reference to Goenka's discourses during the Vipassana course. I was so excited to be in his presence and to hear him speak so passionately about something that I had just been immersed in for 10 days. It felt validating and strangely comforting just to be in the presence of someone who had not only experienced a Vipassana course (as it did with my friends in McLeod), but who was so learned in the teachings. I felt like I wanted to soak up everything he had to say, and I felt humbled by his gentle but penetrating eye contact as he spoke.
Raydene and Robin retreated back to the kitchen, but I stayed with Robin's father and talked to him a bit about my experience at the Vipassana center, and about the friends with whom I had shared the experience. When I told him that we had all parted ways about a week ago, he asked me if I was experiencing any loss in their absence. I told him that I was, and he smiled and nodded knowingly, saying that when people leave a Vipassana course (even their first), they tend to find a strong inner need to surround themselves with people who have practiced Vipassana. He suggested that we sit together and offer Metta to my friends (a meditation offering love and compassion to all living beings). Very moved by his suggestion, I complied. I told him that my friends would be visiting him and Robin soon, and that they would love to sit with him and learn from his experiences, and he assured me he would do so.
After sitting, he showed me his meditation room where people from town come to sit every morning at 6am. He also showed me his antique collection of all the original books of Buddha's teachings (that are over 2500 years old)! He, apparently, has written books condensing these teachings so as to make them more accessible for people to read. Even though it was not necessarily a traditional Diwali celebration, I very much enjoyed my time talking to Robin's father, and felt a great deal of comfort after the past few hectic days of traveling.
Yesterday morning we woke up early and hired a driver to take us through "The Golden Triangle" (Delhi - Agra - Jaipur). We drove about 5 hours to Agra to see the Taj Mahal, which was a surreal experience to be in the presence of one of the less-frequently visited wonders of the world. It was just as beautiful as would be expected, and we soaked up as much of the grounds as we could before heading west to Jaipur.
We arrived in Jaipur last night around 10pm, only to learn that our driver not only didn't speak a word of English, but had never been to Jaipur before! We drove around for about an hour trying to find a guesthouse, when he finally dumped us at a trashy hotel in the middle of the city (which was still a mass of humanity due to the Diwali festivities). After a restless night of fireworks and car horns, we woke up this morning and found ourselves a beautiful guesthouse just outside of the city called the Evergreen Hotel. It lives up to it's name, with beautiful, shady gardens on the grounds, a swimming pool, shops, a restaurant, and an internet cafe!
Being immersed in the city life of India will definitely take some adjusting, but I think we are ready to set some roots here for a week or so (since we bought ourselves some extra time by skipping Nepal). We will most likely stay here until the end of the month before heading to Pushkar for the camel festival, and then onto the other parts of Rajasthan.
Jaipur is a chaotic but colorful city that seems to have a great deal to offer. I'm looking forward to unpacking my backpack for a while and taking some time to lay out at the pool and catch up on some reading, as well as wander the city streets and see what there is to see here.
I hope everyone is well back at home, or wherever you may be. It's always so great to hear from all of you.
Much love,
Cass
Friday, October 20, 2006
Mass Email - Heading South For the Winter
Namaste all
I know it has been a while since I've written en mass, but the past few weeks have been perhaps the most profound of my life and I've had a hard time articulating my experiences in a single email. So, instead, I'll give a brief synopsis (VERY brief), and will have to fill in the gaps with each of you in person.
We ended up staying in Dharamsala a couple weeks longer than planned, rather than going back to Rishikesh for our trek. The primary reason for this was the fact that, the day we arrived at the trian station, we met 3 guys my age from LA who I could describe as nothing short of soulmates. Raydene and I literally had to jump off the moving train as it began leaving Chakki Bank station, since we almost slept through our stop. This was perhaps one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed, and once we were both safely on the ground we laughed-so-hard-that-we-cried all the way to the main platform of the train station where we stopped, mid laughter, to ask a tall blonde guy if we were at the right stop. The tall blonde guy, Clay, and his 2 travel partners, Eliot and Jesse (twin brothers), told us we were indeed in the right place. The 3 of them are from LA, but just graduated from college and are traveling through India together. It turned out they were doing the same Vipassana meditation course I was, and within 5 minutes the 5 of us were family.
We shared a cab for the 3 hour ride to McLeod Ganj, and ended up posting up in a 5 room guesthouse (which just fit all of us and the owners) on top of a mountain in Dharamkot called The Lotus House. This became the structural "home" that housed our family for the next 3 weeks. We became instantly close with the 2 men running the place, Robin & Vinnie, and all of us cooking dinners every night and sat out on the open-air veranda eating, drinking and enjoying the stars which seemed so close you could grab them.
The guys and I left Raydene and the owners behind for 10 days to do the Vipassana meditation course. To describe the experience in the Dhamma center is absolutely impossible, and a story I'll have to save for face-to-face conversations. It was by far the most challenging thing I've ever done, and it made the 4 of us a million times closer by the 10th day when we were free to leave. We were greeted by Raydene and Vinnie, and the feeling of leaving the center and going somewhere so close to a real home and family was the warmest feeling. What happened between all of us, and the memories we shared in the week and half after Vipassana was something only the 7 of us living up there will ever understand, but I can say that those 17 days were the best days of my life.
We parted ways with very heavy hearts a couple days ago, the boys heading to Rajasthan, and Raydene and I to Manali (farther north). We all plan to meet up in Goa at the end of November to finish up our trip together.
Manali is a beautiful mountain city in the Himalayas, but it is rainy and dreadfully cold here, and the tourist season is over, so all of the shops and restaurants are closed. We arrived very early yesterday morning, and are catching a bus back to Delhi this evening. We've decided we are done with the cold weather in the north, and ready to immerse ourselves in the sweltering heat and chaos of southern India.
We are heading to Delhi, then to Agra (to see the Taj Mahal), then to Rajasthan for a few weeks before heading down to Kerala and Goa. It has been nice to have a rough plan, but to have reason to change the plans has been even more rewarding, and makes us feel like real travelers. :)
My mind is flooded with sentiment for the past few weeks, as well as excitement to get back to the real India and continue our adventures. I'm sorry for the brevity of this email, but I'm sure stories of McLeod will surface throughout my next emails.
I hope everyone is well. I have loved hearing from all of you and hearing about all of the wonderful (and sometimes crazy) things you are all doing. All of you are in my thoughts always.
Be well and keep in touch.
Much love
Cass
I know it has been a while since I've written en mass, but the past few weeks have been perhaps the most profound of my life and I've had a hard time articulating my experiences in a single email. So, instead, I'll give a brief synopsis (VERY brief), and will have to fill in the gaps with each of you in person.
We ended up staying in Dharamsala a couple weeks longer than planned, rather than going back to Rishikesh for our trek. The primary reason for this was the fact that, the day we arrived at the trian station, we met 3 guys my age from LA who I could describe as nothing short of soulmates. Raydene and I literally had to jump off the moving train as it began leaving Chakki Bank station, since we almost slept through our stop. This was perhaps one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed, and once we were both safely on the ground we laughed-so-hard-that-we-cried all the way to the main platform of the train station where we stopped, mid laughter, to ask a tall blonde guy if we were at the right stop. The tall blonde guy, Clay, and his 2 travel partners, Eliot and Jesse (twin brothers), told us we were indeed in the right place. The 3 of them are from LA, but just graduated from college and are traveling through India together. It turned out they were doing the same Vipassana meditation course I was, and within 5 minutes the 5 of us were family.
We shared a cab for the 3 hour ride to McLeod Ganj, and ended up posting up in a 5 room guesthouse (which just fit all of us and the owners) on top of a mountain in Dharamkot called The Lotus House. This became the structural "home" that housed our family for the next 3 weeks. We became instantly close with the 2 men running the place, Robin & Vinnie, and all of us cooking dinners every night and sat out on the open-air veranda eating, drinking and enjoying the stars which seemed so close you could grab them.
The guys and I left Raydene and the owners behind for 10 days to do the Vipassana meditation course. To describe the experience in the Dhamma center is absolutely impossible, and a story I'll have to save for face-to-face conversations. It was by far the most challenging thing I've ever done, and it made the 4 of us a million times closer by the 10th day when we were free to leave. We were greeted by Raydene and Vinnie, and the feeling of leaving the center and going somewhere so close to a real home and family was the warmest feeling. What happened between all of us, and the memories we shared in the week and half after Vipassana was something only the 7 of us living up there will ever understand, but I can say that those 17 days were the best days of my life.
We parted ways with very heavy hearts a couple days ago, the boys heading to Rajasthan, and Raydene and I to Manali (farther north). We all plan to meet up in Goa at the end of November to finish up our trip together.
Manali is a beautiful mountain city in the Himalayas, but it is rainy and dreadfully cold here, and the tourist season is over, so all of the shops and restaurants are closed. We arrived very early yesterday morning, and are catching a bus back to Delhi this evening. We've decided we are done with the cold weather in the north, and ready to immerse ourselves in the sweltering heat and chaos of southern India.
We are heading to Delhi, then to Agra (to see the Taj Mahal), then to Rajasthan for a few weeks before heading down to Kerala and Goa. It has been nice to have a rough plan, but to have reason to change the plans has been even more rewarding, and makes us feel like real travelers. :)
My mind is flooded with sentiment for the past few weeks, as well as excitement to get back to the real India and continue our adventures. I'm sorry for the brevity of this email, but I'm sure stories of McLeod will surface throughout my next emails.
I hope everyone is well. I have loved hearing from all of you and hearing about all of the wonderful (and sometimes crazy) things you are all doing. All of you are in my thoughts always.
Be well and keep in touch.
Much love
Cass
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Mass Email - The Last Email For a While
Namaste all...
Well, today is my last day/night at Ramana's Garden. For those of you looking at your calendars in confusion, yes, I am leaving a bit early. This past month has been one of the most challenging and eye-opening, yet equally rewarding, I've known. Living with, and learning from these kids has been one of the most bountiful experiences I've ever had in my life. No expectations could have ever prepared me for how deeply they have touched me, and how much I have learned about myself and my role in this world. To watch these kids live every day with such gratitude, and to face the world and everyone they meet with such open hearts, despite their horrific pasts, has been truly humbling. It has made me realize how closed off so many of us (defintely myself) are to each other and to everything we are SO blessed with.
On the flip side, it has been so disheartening to see so much of the corruption and lack of humanity in the role of Prabha, the woman who founded and claims to run Ramana's Garden. There is so much I could share about the difficulties each of the volunteers and staff have encountered in dealing with her, but those are stories to be told at another time. What she has started here in Rishikesh with Ramana's Garden is something unparalleled anywhere else in India. It is truly a remarkable endeavor, and I respect her immensely for the foundation she has built here. Ramana's is a place where kids can come to have a family, build a foundation for themselves, learn to live independently within their own culture and beliefs, and to hopefully become the kind of adults who are capable and motivated to change India and make it a better place for future generations. I believe whole-heartedly in this mission, and their ability to do so. Unfortunately, though, one person's human struggles (and without question, 30 years of living in and dealing with India), has created a very dark force within the institution that is so powerful that it has driven, and continues to drive, people away from Ramana's Garden.
There is no doubt in my mind that I will return to Ramana's Garden at a later point in my life. Even in these few short weeks, this place, the energy surrounding it, and these incredible people and children have become so much a part of me that I am forever changed. However, all of the volunteers I"ve been working with have collectively decided that being here during this time when Prabha's corruptive and destructive control over us, the children, and the politics and spirituality of Ramana's is too toxic for us to stay here at this time. After a very bizarre series of events (which will remain to be told at a later date) all of us have decided to end our time at Ramana's this week, and go our seperate ways.
On a lighter note....last night all of the volunteers went out for our last dinner together at a restaurant halfway between Rishikesh and Haridwar, appropriately named "Midway" Restaurant. This is the only place in Uttaranchal (the state in which we are) where you can legally buy alcohol. Since none of us had had any kind of alcohol in a month or longer, we managed to get nice and silly pretty quickly, which made for a very entertaining night to say the least! :) (Granted, "nice and silly" was the product of 2 beers, a pathetic claim coming from a former Boulder student and EMI employee). The restaurant was by far the nicest we've been to in India thus far. We all sat at proper tables with actual chairs (we usually sit on the ground) on this huge open lawn under the stars and fireflies (which are often hard to distinguish). I had my first Tikka Masala (my favorite Indian dish which I havent been able to find yet) and naan, along with various appetizers and our favorite dessert called "Hello To The Queen." This is a very popular dessert in India, and it's made of crushed cookies, ice cream, fried bananas and chocolate syrup. It's a feast to be had, although we have all agreed it should instead be named "Hello To The John" since it tends to do a number on the ol' digestive system...
After a 4 hour meal and drinking session, the 6 of us stumbled out to the street to wait for a Rickshaw to take us on the bumpy, loud, exhaust-filled 30 minute drive back to Laxman Jhula where we tripped over cow patties and ran from monkies, giggling our pathetically drunk selves back to our rooms. I have really enjoyed working with the other volunteers. I feel very fortunate to have met such great people with whom I feel very connected. Since most of us are leaving to travel, we are all planning to meet up in Jaipur in November for a 3 day dance festival, which is the first of it's kind in India and has been the talk of the town everywhere I've been.
So, the past few days have been bittersweet, spending as much time as I can with the kids (particularly the girls) with whom I've become very close. There is one group of about 6 or 7 girls, all around 11-12 years old, who have become very close to my heart. We spend hours just sitting in my room talking about girl things, painting or knitting, or - my personal favorite passtime of theirs - giving massages! All of the older kids are certified massage therapists, and they LOVE to give massages to all of the volunteers (who of course are very supportive of this activity). I kid you not when I say that I have gotten some of the best massages I've ever had in my life from some of these kids! They do the whole package, starting with your head and neck, all the way to your legs and feet, and they will seriously do this for HOURS! We figured that if they offer to do it, and enjoy it at that, then we can't feel guilty for partaking in child labor.
I have been getting cards and letters from the kids that are some of the most touching (and heartbreaking) I've ever received. Saying things like "please don't ever forget me when you go back to your other life," or "you will always be my sister, and I will see you in my next life because family always meets again" made my heart heavy at the thought of leaving them. However, it made me feel even more confident that I will return once the "regime" of Ramana's has undergone some changes (which it is looking like it will be in the near future). Much like the US, major corporations and organizations, and countries all over the world, the corruption of those at the top only magnifies the needs of those at the bottom. Please don't let the stories of Prabha dissuade you from seeing the needs of these kids.
So...tomorrow I take off for my travels! As I mentioned, I am traveling with another one of the volunteers, and we have pretty much solidified our itinerary. I'm including a very messy map of my route so that you can see where I'll be going. Please forgive the horrible drawing skills, as this computer has limited resources! :)
September 28: we take a train from Rishikesh to Dharamsala/McLeod Ganj where we will spend the first couple of days sightseeing, and then part ways for almost 2 weeks while I do a 10 day Vipassana Meditation course. During this time I will be out of contact, as I am not allowed to speak, write, or leave the premises for the duration of the session.
October 12: I finish my Vipassana at 7am, and we catch an evening train back to Rishikesh where we'll spend one night before leaving for our 9 day trek.
October 14-23: We take off for our 9-day trek to Kuari Pass, where we'll see the famous Nanda Devi peak in the Himalaya mountain range. (Hell ya!)
October 24: We'll most likely head back to Delhi for the night
October 25-29: We fly from Delhi to Kathmandu, where we'll spend 4 days in Nepal before returning to Delhi..not quite sure what to expect just yet!
October 30: We start the "Golden Triangle" route, heading from Delhi to Agra to see the Taj Mahal (supposedly the only real sight to see in Agra).
October 31: We'll spend an un-celebrated Halloween in Jaipur, most likely staying for a day or two, as it's supposed to be an amazing city!
November 3-5: We head to Pushkar to catch the last few days of the famous Pushkar Camel Festival, where musicians, performers, snake-charmers and camel vendors come to celebrate....well....camels, I guess?
November 6-26: We spend most of November exploring the awesome state of Rajasthan. We meet up with some of our volunteer friends back in Jaipur for a couple days of dancing madness in the desert, then to Jailsamer where we take a 3 day camel trek through the desert (yup, that's right...riding camels)! Then we head to Udaipur, named the "Venice of India" to see the famous lake palace. Aside from those few sights, the time spent in-between is pretty much up in the air.
November 27 (ish): Fly from Amhedabad to Kerala, where we'll spend a week or two cruising through the green rivers and swamps.
December: We end our trip together in Goa, where we plan to indulge in every way possible for a few weeks, spending our days on the beach and embracing our dirty-hippie-traveler-ness before I head back to Delhi to catch my flight back to the Western World just in time for Christmas (and possibly a trip down to LA to move out of my apartment and visit everyone)!
So, for now, it's time to say my goodbyes, pack up my backpack, and enjoy my last few hours with the kids and other volunteers. This will be my last email for a couple of weeks, most likely, but I will send another when I return to Rishikesh before leaving for our trek.
To leave you all on a characteristically cheezy note...Last night at Satsong one of the American students in the LeapNow group that is staying with us right now brought his guitar and played several "western" songs to which we all sang along. He ended his "set" with Landslide and made quite a few of us a bit teary. Sitting in this dome, lit only by some lotus flower lanterns the kids had made, with 3 or 4 children sitting in my lap or clutching my arms, hands and legs, I couldn't help but look around and feel overwhelmed by the presence of all these little people who had managed to change my life and open up my heart amid all the challenges of the last month. Going in I feared that my inner-child was not strong enough to open up to all of these kids, and to give them all the love and attention they truly deserved. Just as this thought was crossing my mind, I locked eyes with Naina, the girl with whom I've become exceptionally close, and the boy singing sang the words "Mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above?" Naina and I smiled at each other and as she squeezed my hand and layed her head in my lap, I realized that -because of her and all the kids - the child within my heart indeed had.
Much love
Cass
Well, today is my last day/night at Ramana's Garden. For those of you looking at your calendars in confusion, yes, I am leaving a bit early. This past month has been one of the most challenging and eye-opening, yet equally rewarding, I've known. Living with, and learning from these kids has been one of the most bountiful experiences I've ever had in my life. No expectations could have ever prepared me for how deeply they have touched me, and how much I have learned about myself and my role in this world. To watch these kids live every day with such gratitude, and to face the world and everyone they meet with such open hearts, despite their horrific pasts, has been truly humbling. It has made me realize how closed off so many of us (defintely myself) are to each other and to everything we are SO blessed with.
On the flip side, it has been so disheartening to see so much of the corruption and lack of humanity in the role of Prabha, the woman who founded and claims to run Ramana's Garden. There is so much I could share about the difficulties each of the volunteers and staff have encountered in dealing with her, but those are stories to be told at another time. What she has started here in Rishikesh with Ramana's Garden is something unparalleled anywhere else in India. It is truly a remarkable endeavor, and I respect her immensely for the foundation she has built here. Ramana's is a place where kids can come to have a family, build a foundation for themselves, learn to live independently within their own culture and beliefs, and to hopefully become the kind of adults who are capable and motivated to change India and make it a better place for future generations. I believe whole-heartedly in this mission, and their ability to do so. Unfortunately, though, one person's human struggles (and without question, 30 years of living in and dealing with India), has created a very dark force within the institution that is so powerful that it has driven, and continues to drive, people away from Ramana's Garden.
There is no doubt in my mind that I will return to Ramana's Garden at a later point in my life. Even in these few short weeks, this place, the energy surrounding it, and these incredible people and children have become so much a part of me that I am forever changed. However, all of the volunteers I"ve been working with have collectively decided that being here during this time when Prabha's corruptive and destructive control over us, the children, and the politics and spirituality of Ramana's is too toxic for us to stay here at this time. After a very bizarre series of events (which will remain to be told at a later date) all of us have decided to end our time at Ramana's this week, and go our seperate ways.
On a lighter note....last night all of the volunteers went out for our last dinner together at a restaurant halfway between Rishikesh and Haridwar, appropriately named "Midway" Restaurant. This is the only place in Uttaranchal (the state in which we are) where you can legally buy alcohol. Since none of us had had any kind of alcohol in a month or longer, we managed to get nice and silly pretty quickly, which made for a very entertaining night to say the least! :) (Granted, "nice and silly" was the product of 2 beers, a pathetic claim coming from a former Boulder student and EMI employee). The restaurant was by far the nicest we've been to in India thus far. We all sat at proper tables with actual chairs (we usually sit on the ground) on this huge open lawn under the stars and fireflies (which are often hard to distinguish). I had my first Tikka Masala (my favorite Indian dish which I havent been able to find yet) and naan, along with various appetizers and our favorite dessert called "Hello To The Queen." This is a very popular dessert in India, and it's made of crushed cookies, ice cream, fried bananas and chocolate syrup. It's a feast to be had, although we have all agreed it should instead be named "Hello To The John" since it tends to do a number on the ol' digestive system...
After a 4 hour meal and drinking session, the 6 of us stumbled out to the street to wait for a Rickshaw to take us on the bumpy, loud, exhaust-filled 30 minute drive back to Laxman Jhula where we tripped over cow patties and ran from monkies, giggling our pathetically drunk selves back to our rooms. I have really enjoyed working with the other volunteers. I feel very fortunate to have met such great people with whom I feel very connected. Since most of us are leaving to travel, we are all planning to meet up in Jaipur in November for a 3 day dance festival, which is the first of it's kind in India and has been the talk of the town everywhere I've been.
So, the past few days have been bittersweet, spending as much time as I can with the kids (particularly the girls) with whom I've become very close. There is one group of about 6 or 7 girls, all around 11-12 years old, who have become very close to my heart. We spend hours just sitting in my room talking about girl things, painting or knitting, or - my personal favorite passtime of theirs - giving massages! All of the older kids are certified massage therapists, and they LOVE to give massages to all of the volunteers (who of course are very supportive of this activity). I kid you not when I say that I have gotten some of the best massages I've ever had in my life from some of these kids! They do the whole package, starting with your head and neck, all the way to your legs and feet, and they will seriously do this for HOURS! We figured that if they offer to do it, and enjoy it at that, then we can't feel guilty for partaking in child labor.
I have been getting cards and letters from the kids that are some of the most touching (and heartbreaking) I've ever received. Saying things like "please don't ever forget me when you go back to your other life," or "you will always be my sister, and I will see you in my next life because family always meets again" made my heart heavy at the thought of leaving them. However, it made me feel even more confident that I will return once the "regime" of Ramana's has undergone some changes (which it is looking like it will be in the near future). Much like the US, major corporations and organizations, and countries all over the world, the corruption of those at the top only magnifies the needs of those at the bottom. Please don't let the stories of Prabha dissuade you from seeing the needs of these kids.
So...tomorrow I take off for my travels! As I mentioned, I am traveling with another one of the volunteers, and we have pretty much solidified our itinerary. I'm including a very messy map of my route so that you can see where I'll be going. Please forgive the horrible drawing skills, as this computer has limited resources! :)
September 28: we take a train from Rishikesh to Dharamsala/McLeod Ganj where we will spend the first couple of days sightseeing, and then part ways for almost 2 weeks while I do a 10 day Vipassana Meditation course. During this time I will be out of contact, as I am not allowed to speak, write, or leave the premises for the duration of the session.
October 12: I finish my Vipassana at 7am, and we catch an evening train back to Rishikesh where we'll spend one night before leaving for our 9 day trek.
October 14-23: We take off for our 9-day trek to Kuari Pass, where we'll see the famous Nanda Devi peak in the Himalaya mountain range. (Hell ya!)
October 24: We'll most likely head back to Delhi for the night
October 25-29: We fly from Delhi to Kathmandu, where we'll spend 4 days in Nepal before returning to Delhi..not quite sure what to expect just yet!
October 30: We start the "Golden Triangle" route, heading from Delhi to Agra to see the Taj Mahal (supposedly the only real sight to see in Agra).
October 31: We'll spend an un-celebrated Halloween in Jaipur, most likely staying for a day or two, as it's supposed to be an amazing city!
November 3-5: We head to Pushkar to catch the last few days of the famous Pushkar Camel Festival, where musicians, performers, snake-charmers and camel vendors come to celebrate....well....camels, I guess?
November 6-26: We spend most of November exploring the awesome state of Rajasthan. We meet up with some of our volunteer friends back in Jaipur for a couple days of dancing madness in the desert, then to Jailsamer where we take a 3 day camel trek through the desert (yup, that's right...riding camels)! Then we head to Udaipur, named the "Venice of India" to see the famous lake palace. Aside from those few sights, the time spent in-between is pretty much up in the air.
November 27 (ish): Fly from Amhedabad to Kerala, where we'll spend a week or two cruising through the green rivers and swamps.
December: We end our trip together in Goa, where we plan to indulge in every way possible for a few weeks, spending our days on the beach and embracing our dirty-hippie-traveler-ness before I head back to Delhi to catch my flight back to the Western World just in time for Christmas (and possibly a trip down to LA to move out of my apartment and visit everyone)!
So, for now, it's time to say my goodbyes, pack up my backpack, and enjoy my last few hours with the kids and other volunteers. This will be my last email for a couple of weeks, most likely, but I will send another when I return to Rishikesh before leaving for our trek.
To leave you all on a characteristically cheezy note...Last night at Satsong one of the American students in the LeapNow group that is staying with us right now brought his guitar and played several "western" songs to which we all sang along. He ended his "set" with Landslide and made quite a few of us a bit teary. Sitting in this dome, lit only by some lotus flower lanterns the kids had made, with 3 or 4 children sitting in my lap or clutching my arms, hands and legs, I couldn't help but look around and feel overwhelmed by the presence of all these little people who had managed to change my life and open up my heart amid all the challenges of the last month. Going in I feared that my inner-child was not strong enough to open up to all of these kids, and to give them all the love and attention they truly deserved. Just as this thought was crossing my mind, I locked eyes with Naina, the girl with whom I've become exceptionally close, and the boy singing sang the words "Mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above?" Naina and I smiled at each other and as she squeezed my hand and layed her head in my lap, I realized that -because of her and all the kids - the child within my heart indeed had.
Much love
Cass
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Mass Email - Lice, Babies & Travel
Namaste, all!
Well, life in Rishikesh is starting to feel fairly normal these days, in the sense that I feel very used to my surroundings both at Ramana's and around town. I have a pretty standard routine every day, and can now walk through pretty much any part of town and always see familiar faces, which is a very nice feeling. I have been on antibiotics for the past several days kicking a lower-intestinal bug (good times), but am on my last day of treatment and feel much better. The other volunteers and I have been working very hard during the day. The kids had exams last week and all next week, so the schedule has been a bit crazy between tests and trying to get them ready for a huge dance contest they are entering in a week or so.
One of the girls was very sick all last week, and had to be taken into the hospital and treated for a very severe case of neumonia. She had a fever of 104, and was coughing up blood, not eating or drinking, and was so weak that she wet the bed clean through the mattress because she couldnt get up. It was very frustrating, as none of the girls in her room alerted us of this, so we didnt know until the condition had gotten very bad. She just got out of the hospital on Friday, and is doing much better health wise, although mentally she is by far our toughest case.
Her name is Lalita, and she was forced into prostitution at the age of 8 or 9. Her father burned her mother to death (a very common case in India & Nepal) right in front of Lalita, and she was found by a police officer clutching the corpse of her mother before being brough to Ramana's. She is now 14, and just recently started menstruating, and we think this is causing her to have traumatic flashbacks to being raped as a child. Many of the girls have suffered a great deal of sexual assault and/or were sold into prostitution at a very young age. Therefore, when they begin menstruating it can yeild a great deal of stress and traumatic emotions for them.
In addition to this, menstruation has a very negative connotation in India and Nepal for women. Women who are menstruating are not allowed to touch or eat food, walk past temples or holy places, attend any kind of spiritual service, go into Ganga, or even sleep indoors. Surprisingly, these practices are still followed today. When girls at Ramana's are menstruating they do not go to Ganga (where we all go twice a week to bathe the kids and wash their clothes), nor do many of them eat, despite our insisting that they do so.
To help remedy this fear and shame surrounding this very important phase in these girls' lives, we decided to have a "Girls' Night" party tomorrow night for all of the older girls (and a couple who we know will start soon). All the female volunteers went out and bought cookies, soda, candies, henna and nail polish, and we are going to all meet tomorrow night after satsong for a meeting to just talk to the girls about what a positive and celebrated milestone this is for them, and answer any questions they may have about it or about sex (a VERY taboo subject in India). So many of the girls are married off by their parents as young as 13, and are expected to have sex without having ever talked about in any form. Therefore, it is used very much as a form of control and submission by men to exert their power over women. We are trying to keep this from happening to these girls, especially since so many of them already have such severe issues with men after being raped and sexually abused. And because none of these girls have parents, they will not be married off, and will therefore be free to marry out of love.
Another MAJOR problem around the compound this week has been lice. We did a head-check today and about 30 of the kids had very severe cases of lice. We, in America, are used to those puny little white, microscopic lice that are relatively painless. But these lice are INSANE! The lice here in India are actual little black crawling bugs that eat away at your scalp and leave these sores on your head, mostly around your ears and the back of your neck. We went to Ganga today and washed all of the kids with lice shampoo and had to comb them out. We took all of the boys to the barber shop to have their heads shaved, but the girls have them SO badly. I was combing them out of one girl who by far had the worst case of anyone, and we literally counted over 500 gnits combed out of her head. That's not including the ones we didnt get, or the eggs which coated every strand of her hair tenfold. It was horrible. The poor girl has to have her head shaved. Fortunately, I was checked and came out lice free (for now)!
On a lighter note, I have become incredibly close with one of the girls named Naina (pronounced like nine-uh). She's 10, and for some reason I have just fallen in love with her. Whenever she is not in school, she is by my side, and we have become very close. Today she took me to meet her brother, who lives in Devaprayug (about 3 hours away) but who was in town for a few days visiting Naina. He and his wife are having a baby any day now, so I took Naina shopping in Rishikesh to buy her some gifts for the baby and for her sister-in-law. We found some adorable little baby clothes (which Naina picked out), a nice fleece blanket for the baby, and a beautiful Sari for her sister-in-law. In total, everything came to about Rs 500 ($10 USD), which is a fortune for them, but hardly a dent in the wallet for me, so it was so great to be able to help her out. This is something that the volunteers do quite a bit. One of the volunteers, Marc, from Amsterdam, takes 3 kids a week into Rishikesh to buy them new clothes. He has been here for almost a year now, so the kids are very well-dressed because of him.
Finally, I have found a travel partner for the rest of my trip: Raydene, one of the other American volunteers at Ramana's. She's a 45 divorcee who is living out her mid-life crisis, and is therefore a very fun counterpart, as she's up for everything! She just got her nose peirced in Rishikesh the other day, is dying her hair red tomorrow, and is now talking about getting a tattoo. She seems to be loving her freedom (despite the circumstances), and we all get a kick out of her ambition to rebel! Needless to say, we support her 100%. Our travels begin Thursday, and I am very much looking forward to finally seeing more of India. Since this email is quite long, I'll explain my travel itinerary before I leave, as I will be out of contact for a few weeks once I do.
I hope everyone at home is well. I think about you all quite a bit, and can't wait to share these stories with you in person.
Stay well and keep in touch!
Much Love
Cass
Well, life in Rishikesh is starting to feel fairly normal these days, in the sense that I feel very used to my surroundings both at Ramana's and around town. I have a pretty standard routine every day, and can now walk through pretty much any part of town and always see familiar faces, which is a very nice feeling. I have been on antibiotics for the past several days kicking a lower-intestinal bug (good times), but am on my last day of treatment and feel much better. The other volunteers and I have been working very hard during the day. The kids had exams last week and all next week, so the schedule has been a bit crazy between tests and trying to get them ready for a huge dance contest they are entering in a week or so.
One of the girls was very sick all last week, and had to be taken into the hospital and treated for a very severe case of neumonia. She had a fever of 104, and was coughing up blood, not eating or drinking, and was so weak that she wet the bed clean through the mattress because she couldnt get up. It was very frustrating, as none of the girls in her room alerted us of this, so we didnt know until the condition had gotten very bad. She just got out of the hospital on Friday, and is doing much better health wise, although mentally she is by far our toughest case.
Her name is Lalita, and she was forced into prostitution at the age of 8 or 9. Her father burned her mother to death (a very common case in India & Nepal) right in front of Lalita, and she was found by a police officer clutching the corpse of her mother before being brough to Ramana's. She is now 14, and just recently started menstruating, and we think this is causing her to have traumatic flashbacks to being raped as a child. Many of the girls have suffered a great deal of sexual assault and/or were sold into prostitution at a very young age. Therefore, when they begin menstruating it can yeild a great deal of stress and traumatic emotions for them.
In addition to this, menstruation has a very negative connotation in India and Nepal for women. Women who are menstruating are not allowed to touch or eat food, walk past temples or holy places, attend any kind of spiritual service, go into Ganga, or even sleep indoors. Surprisingly, these practices are still followed today. When girls at Ramana's are menstruating they do not go to Ganga (where we all go twice a week to bathe the kids and wash their clothes), nor do many of them eat, despite our insisting that they do so.
To help remedy this fear and shame surrounding this very important phase in these girls' lives, we decided to have a "Girls' Night" party tomorrow night for all of the older girls (and a couple who we know will start soon). All the female volunteers went out and bought cookies, soda, candies, henna and nail polish, and we are going to all meet tomorrow night after satsong for a meeting to just talk to the girls about what a positive and celebrated milestone this is for them, and answer any questions they may have about it or about sex (a VERY taboo subject in India). So many of the girls are married off by their parents as young as 13, and are expected to have sex without having ever talked about in any form. Therefore, it is used very much as a form of control and submission by men to exert their power over women. We are trying to keep this from happening to these girls, especially since so many of them already have such severe issues with men after being raped and sexually abused. And because none of these girls have parents, they will not be married off, and will therefore be free to marry out of love.
Another MAJOR problem around the compound this week has been lice. We did a head-check today and about 30 of the kids had very severe cases of lice. We, in America, are used to those puny little white, microscopic lice that are relatively painless. But these lice are INSANE! The lice here in India are actual little black crawling bugs that eat away at your scalp and leave these sores on your head, mostly around your ears and the back of your neck. We went to Ganga today and washed all of the kids with lice shampoo and had to comb them out. We took all of the boys to the barber shop to have their heads shaved, but the girls have them SO badly. I was combing them out of one girl who by far had the worst case of anyone, and we literally counted over 500 gnits combed out of her head. That's not including the ones we didnt get, or the eggs which coated every strand of her hair tenfold. It was horrible. The poor girl has to have her head shaved. Fortunately, I was checked and came out lice free (for now)!
On a lighter note, I have become incredibly close with one of the girls named Naina (pronounced like nine-uh). She's 10, and for some reason I have just fallen in love with her. Whenever she is not in school, she is by my side, and we have become very close. Today she took me to meet her brother, who lives in Devaprayug (about 3 hours away) but who was in town for a few days visiting Naina. He and his wife are having a baby any day now, so I took Naina shopping in Rishikesh to buy her some gifts for the baby and for her sister-in-law. We found some adorable little baby clothes (which Naina picked out), a nice fleece blanket for the baby, and a beautiful Sari for her sister-in-law. In total, everything came to about Rs 500 ($10 USD), which is a fortune for them, but hardly a dent in the wallet for me, so it was so great to be able to help her out. This is something that the volunteers do quite a bit. One of the volunteers, Marc, from Amsterdam, takes 3 kids a week into Rishikesh to buy them new clothes. He has been here for almost a year now, so the kids are very well-dressed because of him.
Finally, I have found a travel partner for the rest of my trip: Raydene, one of the other American volunteers at Ramana's. She's a 45 divorcee who is living out her mid-life crisis, and is therefore a very fun counterpart, as she's up for everything! She just got her nose peirced in Rishikesh the other day, is dying her hair red tomorrow, and is now talking about getting a tattoo. She seems to be loving her freedom (despite the circumstances), and we all get a kick out of her ambition to rebel! Needless to say, we support her 100%. Our travels begin Thursday, and I am very much looking forward to finally seeing more of India. Since this email is quite long, I'll explain my travel itinerary before I leave, as I will be out of contact for a few weeks once I do.
I hope everyone at home is well. I think about you all quite a bit, and can't wait to share these stories with you in person.
Stay well and keep in touch!
Much Love
Cass
Thursday, September 21, 2006
Mass Email - Something YOU can Do
Hello All...
As I had mentioned to some of you in previous emails, we are hoping to find a trained psychologist to come live and work at Ramana's Garden in order to provide some of the kids with the one-on-one counseling and support they desperately need. We are offering a 6 month minimum volunteer position to any FEMALE psychologist (because some of the girls suffered severe sexual abuse) to come live and work on the compound here in Rishikesh , India . All room & board accomodations and all meals will be provided free of charge, and a small stipend will be paid at the completion of service.
We are more than willing to accept anyone working toward a doctorate or masters in Psychology (or similar field), and will gladly allow the experience to be used for any credits needed for their degree.
SO...what I'd like to ask of all of you: PLEASE forward this on to everyone you know, specifically anyone who you think may be interested or of help in finding someone for this position. I know some of you are attending or have worked at Psychology schools, so if you could forward this to any contacts you may have within the staff at those schools, that would be a huge help! Forward to your therapists, your friends, your family, your colleagues....ANYONE! This is going to have to be a very grassroots opperation, but I'm sure that will all of your help we will be able to find someone qualified to help these remarkable kids.
Please send the attached flyer to all of your contacts, or post it in your office/school/neighborhood/etc.
Thanks so much in advance for all of your help and support.
*and special thanks to Tom B for making the awesome flyer!
Kind Regards,
Cassie Tregellas
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Mass Email - On a Lighter Note...
Namaste again (to those of you who asked, Namaste is the Hindi word used for hello as well as goodbye. Literally, it is translated as "From my soul to yours." VERY Indian!)
I realize I have been writing quite frequently, and I apologize to those of you who dread my long emails (wong!), but I was so overwhelmed by the responses from all of you about the last email. So much of what you all said was so insightful, and truly helped me affirm my values and beliefs surrounding this experience here in India. It really means the world to me to have all of your support, or even contact, and I feel so lucky to have such extraordinary people in my life such as yourselves.
Last night all of the volunteers went out after Satsong to have some food and talk about some of our frustrations and concerns. It was comforting to know that we all shared the same perspective on the situation. Some of the volunteers who have been at Ramana's for many months now shared some other concerning stories. We talked for quite a while, and at the end we all agreed on one thing: that the only way we could all prevail and continue giving all of ourselves to this is to continue focusing on the kids.
Fortunately, the day's events seemed to fuel us all, as this morning we were all busy devising new plans to directly help the kids (while somewhat bypassing Prabha's involvement). All of the volunteers are so creative and compassionate. It is quite humbling to be working with such amazing people.
The issue that stood out the most to me was that the children have never received any kind of consistent, PROFESSIONAL psychological and emotional support (outside of the passing volunteers). I am currently working on a VERY grassroots plan to get a full-time, live-in professional psychologist to come work with the kids. Stay tuned, as I will definitely need ALL of your help when everything is in order....
On a lighter note, last night a few of us went to go see a documentary screening put on by a college student from Mumbai on the water crisis in Gujarat. Very abridged synopsis: dams are being built (by state and now federal governemnt) along the river in Gujarat to supposedly "fix" the drought problem that has accumulated over many decades (which could have been handled when the problem arose 30 years ago). They claim that these dams will provide electricity and water supply to the large, urban areas in the state. However, as a result, millions.....yup, MILLIONS, of rural farmers (who's very existence relies on living by the river to irrigate their crops which are their only source of monetary support) have been flooded out of their land. 98% of the animals (both domestic and wild) were killed because of this displacement. The governement promised these people replacement land, but most never received the land, OR were given land a fraction of the size of their original property that is not fertile. As a result, these people have lost their homes, their means of survival, their crops, their land, their animals, and their culture, all so the government could put a band aid on a bursting problem that was never addressed at the source. AND the worst part of it, is that the dams are only capable of providing electricity to 2% of the people in the effected areas, and water to only 5%.
It was a very well done, and powerful movie. It was touching to see that conservationists exist everywhere in the world, and brought a feeling of connection to the people of India to see them protesting and fighting for their rights when I know so many of us in the states feel the frustration of not being seen or heard by our governemnt.
On an even lighter note....some funny little Indian antecdotes I thought I'd share with you beacuse they have been a major source of our humor and entertainment:
Even though all of the kids and most of the staff at Ramana's speak English pretty well, they have their own kind of dialect that is quickly rubbing off on all of us volunteers. Apparently, none of them know any form of tense, so every verb they say ends in "-ing," usually following the very popular Indian-English phrase "very much."
Example: every day when we give kids medicine, they point to a body part and say "very much paining!" When it is raining outside (which it has been quite often) they say "very much raining!" We have all taken on this dialect, and find ourselves cracking up every night when we all go out and sit around speaking English to one another saying things like "I am very much hungry."
Another popular Indian-English phrase is "Same, same but different." I am still figuring this one out, as it's used in many contexts. I actually saw a T-shirt at one of the local shops with the phrase written on it.
Anyway, it seems that the struggles we face here only drive us to do even more for these awesome kids. (I called one of them "awesome" the other day and the whole class was rolling on the floor laughing "You very much funny, Cassi-ji. VEEEERY much funny!" Easy crowd, I guess.
Also, I will hopefully have some pictures up soon. We have to buy discs to put them on and then upload from the internet cafe's, so it may take a while, but I will definitely have some up soon.
Thanks again to all of you for writing. I hope you are all well, and I'll be in touch.
VERY MUCH loving!
Cass
I realize I have been writing quite frequently, and I apologize to those of you who dread my long emails (wong!), but I was so overwhelmed by the responses from all of you about the last email. So much of what you all said was so insightful, and truly helped me affirm my values and beliefs surrounding this experience here in India. It really means the world to me to have all of your support, or even contact, and I feel so lucky to have such extraordinary people in my life such as yourselves.
Last night all of the volunteers went out after Satsong to have some food and talk about some of our frustrations and concerns. It was comforting to know that we all shared the same perspective on the situation. Some of the volunteers who have been at Ramana's for many months now shared some other concerning stories. We talked for quite a while, and at the end we all agreed on one thing: that the only way we could all prevail and continue giving all of ourselves to this is to continue focusing on the kids.
Fortunately, the day's events seemed to fuel us all, as this morning we were all busy devising new plans to directly help the kids (while somewhat bypassing Prabha's involvement). All of the volunteers are so creative and compassionate. It is quite humbling to be working with such amazing people.
The issue that stood out the most to me was that the children have never received any kind of consistent, PROFESSIONAL psychological and emotional support (outside of the passing volunteers). I am currently working on a VERY grassroots plan to get a full-time, live-in professional psychologist to come work with the kids. Stay tuned, as I will definitely need ALL of your help when everything is in order....
On a lighter note, last night a few of us went to go see a documentary screening put on by a college student from Mumbai on the water crisis in Gujarat. Very abridged synopsis: dams are being built (by state and now federal governemnt) along the river in Gujarat to supposedly "fix" the drought problem that has accumulated over many decades (which could have been handled when the problem arose 30 years ago). They claim that these dams will provide electricity and water supply to the large, urban areas in the state. However, as a result, millions.....yup, MILLIONS, of rural farmers (who's very existence relies on living by the river to irrigate their crops which are their only source of monetary support) have been flooded out of their land. 98% of the animals (both domestic and wild) were killed because of this displacement. The governement promised these people replacement land, but most never received the land, OR were given land a fraction of the size of their original property that is not fertile. As a result, these people have lost their homes, their means of survival, their crops, their land, their animals, and their culture, all so the government could put a band aid on a bursting problem that was never addressed at the source. AND the worst part of it, is that the dams are only capable of providing electricity to 2% of the people in the effected areas, and water to only 5%.
It was a very well done, and powerful movie. It was touching to see that conservationists exist everywhere in the world, and brought a feeling of connection to the people of India to see them protesting and fighting for their rights when I know so many of us in the states feel the frustration of not being seen or heard by our governemnt.
On an even lighter note....some funny little Indian antecdotes I thought I'd share with you beacuse they have been a major source of our humor and entertainment:
Even though all of the kids and most of the staff at Ramana's speak English pretty well, they have their own kind of dialect that is quickly rubbing off on all of us volunteers. Apparently, none of them know any form of tense, so every verb they say ends in "-ing," usually following the very popular Indian-English phrase "very much."
Example: every day when we give kids medicine, they point to a body part and say "very much paining!" When it is raining outside (which it has been quite often) they say "very much raining!" We have all taken on this dialect, and find ourselves cracking up every night when we all go out and sit around speaking English to one another saying things like "I am very much hungry."
Another popular Indian-English phrase is "Same, same but different." I am still figuring this one out, as it's used in many contexts. I actually saw a T-shirt at one of the local shops with the phrase written on it.
Anyway, it seems that the struggles we face here only drive us to do even more for these awesome kids. (I called one of them "awesome" the other day and the whole class was rolling on the floor laughing "You very much funny, Cassi-ji. VEEEERY much funny!" Easy crowd, I guess.
Also, I will hopefully have some pictures up soon. We have to buy discs to put them on and then upload from the internet cafe's, so it may take a while, but I will definitely have some up soon.
Thanks again to all of you for writing. I hope you are all well, and I'll be in touch.
VERY MUCH loving!
Cass
Mass Email - The Honeymoon is Over
Namaste all..
Well, it has been almost 2 weeks since my arrival in India and my stay at Ramana's Garden, and while I am still very much loving being in India and dealing with the day to day challenges, the honeymoon is definitely over.
I have only been to this one town in India (which is an amazing area that I still have yet to fully explore), but in dealing with the goings-on at the orphanage, the "Indian Way" is starting to become more of a clear picture to me. People in India live in total and complete chaos. There is no structure to anything, and if there seems to be, it is only a facade masking the chaotic underbelly. I have found this increasingly frustrating, particularly at the orphanage, since my reason for volunteering was to help the kids. The kids are absolutely remarkable. You forget that all of them have these haunting pasts that brought them to Ramana's....
....4 year olds whose parents were killed in a car accident, who were then left alone on the streets where they were beaten by other children and adults, causing them to lose an eye or a hand....8 year olds who held onto their mother's hand as she was being burned to death right in front of their eyes by their father who then shot himself in the head...9 year old child-prostitutes found raped almost to the point of death on a train and brought to Ramana's by a traveler...
It's mind-numbing to think about. And yet, these kids seem - at first glance - to be just the same as any other child living anywhere else in the world. They love to swing and play ball. They fight over toys and love to make bracelets and braid your hair. They laugh, they talk in class, they wet the bed, they cry when they stub their toe, and -like all children - all they want is to be loved.
However, there is a bigger picture to the orphanage that makes it so frustrating to deal with on a day to day basis. Prabha, the woman who started the orphanage, is quite an ordeal in her own right. She is, I'm guessing, in her late 50's. She was born in Colorado where she lived in a cave with her very poor mother until she ran away from home at a young age and fled to Hollywood. There she was a prostitute to support herself while she became, as she says "A well-known hollywood actress." (I've never heard of her). In the 60's, during the hippie craze where people fled to India to live in Ashrams, she came and studied under a guru named Ramana who gave her the name Prabha (which means light) and told her to go to the banks of Ganga (The Ganges) and to feed the children. Long story short, this was the origin of Ramana's Garden (or at least according to her), and she has been expanding this orphanage and school for almost 13 years. It's a triumphant story and cause, but it is very clear that spending 20 years living in India, 13 of which living in an orphanage with 60 orphans, has driven her a bit mad. She is extremely unpredictable, her emotions ranging from almost sedated and calm to terrifying and screaming at anyone or anything that crosses her path. SHe's very emotionally unstable, and not at all a positive figure in the lives of the children. She is very rarely at the orphanage, and when she is she is either screaming at the children or the volunteers or taking one of her many lovers (even though she is married - to an Indian man living in the states). She does not DO anything at the orphanage. The volunteers literally run the place entirely, and serve as the only emotional support for the kids, which is truly tragic since no volunteer has ever stayed longer than a year, most for only a couple months.
Yesterday, Prahba returned from one of her little vacations and was on a rampage. Her house had flooded during the rains, and I happened to be in her path when she noticed this. Immediately, she yelled at me "how could a grown adult such as yourself allow this to happen?!" I tried not to laugh at such a ridiculous question. I said "Prahba, I've never stepped foot inside your house (it's strictly off limits). How would I know that had happened?" to which she replied "I dont know but I want you to scrub up all the water in my bathroom (her pipes had burst and sewage was leaking everywhere) IMMEDIATELY!" I very politely (or at least as politely as I could manage) told her that I didn't pay $650 to scrub her bathroom, I came to help the kids, and walked away before I took it upon myself to hit her for being such a monster. Later that night one of the girls (the one who was a prostitute found on a train) had a seizure (a symptom of her Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder). We were upstairs calming her down, when Prahba storms in and yells at her, telling her to stop acting like such a dramatic child. She grabbed her by the arm and told her to stop faking it or she was going to be kicked out on the streets. It's maddening.
Even the teachers rely entirely - too much so - on the volunteers, and act a bit like children themselves at times. If they do not have something they need, they come to us asking for it, when they could simply go into the closet and take out the needed materials. But, if something is broken, such as a desk or a window, they leave it for months before one of the volunteers notices and fixes it.
I started my computer classes this week. I had met with all of the teachers last week to discuss a schedule that worked for them, and I had written out a schedule for each individual teacher telling them what times their classes had computers. Both yesterday and today no kids showed up, and i had to go into the classrooms to remind the teachers about Computer class.
So, I suppose the reality of this country is hitting me pretty hard. Like I said, I wouldnt want to be anywhere else, but it makes staying at the orphanage very difficult. I struggle with wanting to just leave and begin my travels, but thinking about the kids being here and dealing with this crap every single day of their lives makes me feel guilty and deeply saddened, and is literally the ONLY thing keeping me here. 3 of the other volunteers left today after Prahba's outburst last night. It was seriously the most disturbing thing I've seen in India so far. I came here with hope in my heart that such people existed that would sacrifice the comforts of western life to open an orphanage for these kids who need help more than anyone I've ever encountered, and to come here to see what a monster she is...or at least has become....is truly disheartening. I'm not sure what I will do, but I told myself I need to stick it out as long as I can bear. I feel obligated to fulfill this committment both for the children and for myself.
So, for those of you who pray, please pray for these kids. Pray for Prahba, that she may find a way to live that does not ruin everything she has built here, which has the potential to be something extraordinary in this country of madness. Pray that these kids remain on a straight path and get the kind of emotional support that they need to not only survive, but function as happy, healthy human beings. And those of you who do not pray, keep them in your hearts. They can use all the love they can get.
Namaste,
Cass
Well, it has been almost 2 weeks since my arrival in India and my stay at Ramana's Garden, and while I am still very much loving being in India and dealing with the day to day challenges, the honeymoon is definitely over.
I have only been to this one town in India (which is an amazing area that I still have yet to fully explore), but in dealing with the goings-on at the orphanage, the "Indian Way" is starting to become more of a clear picture to me. People in India live in total and complete chaos. There is no structure to anything, and if there seems to be, it is only a facade masking the chaotic underbelly. I have found this increasingly frustrating, particularly at the orphanage, since my reason for volunteering was to help the kids. The kids are absolutely remarkable. You forget that all of them have these haunting pasts that brought them to Ramana's....
....4 year olds whose parents were killed in a car accident, who were then left alone on the streets where they were beaten by other children and adults, causing them to lose an eye or a hand....8 year olds who held onto their mother's hand as she was being burned to death right in front of their eyes by their father who then shot himself in the head...9 year old child-prostitutes found raped almost to the point of death on a train and brought to Ramana's by a traveler...
It's mind-numbing to think about. And yet, these kids seem - at first glance - to be just the same as any other child living anywhere else in the world. They love to swing and play ball. They fight over toys and love to make bracelets and braid your hair. They laugh, they talk in class, they wet the bed, they cry when they stub their toe, and -like all children - all they want is to be loved.
However, there is a bigger picture to the orphanage that makes it so frustrating to deal with on a day to day basis. Prabha, the woman who started the orphanage, is quite an ordeal in her own right. She is, I'm guessing, in her late 50's. She was born in Colorado where she lived in a cave with her very poor mother until she ran away from home at a young age and fled to Hollywood. There she was a prostitute to support herself while she became, as she says "A well-known hollywood actress." (I've never heard of her). In the 60's, during the hippie craze where people fled to India to live in Ashrams, she came and studied under a guru named Ramana who gave her the name Prabha (which means light) and told her to go to the banks of Ganga (The Ganges) and to feed the children. Long story short, this was the origin of Ramana's Garden (or at least according to her), and she has been expanding this orphanage and school for almost 13 years. It's a triumphant story and cause, but it is very clear that spending 20 years living in India, 13 of which living in an orphanage with 60 orphans, has driven her a bit mad. She is extremely unpredictable, her emotions ranging from almost sedated and calm to terrifying and screaming at anyone or anything that crosses her path. SHe's very emotionally unstable, and not at all a positive figure in the lives of the children. She is very rarely at the orphanage, and when she is she is either screaming at the children or the volunteers or taking one of her many lovers (even though she is married - to an Indian man living in the states). She does not DO anything at the orphanage. The volunteers literally run the place entirely, and serve as the only emotional support for the kids, which is truly tragic since no volunteer has ever stayed longer than a year, most for only a couple months.
Yesterday, Prahba returned from one of her little vacations and was on a rampage. Her house had flooded during the rains, and I happened to be in her path when she noticed this. Immediately, she yelled at me "how could a grown adult such as yourself allow this to happen?!" I tried not to laugh at such a ridiculous question. I said "Prahba, I've never stepped foot inside your house (it's strictly off limits). How would I know that had happened?" to which she replied "I dont know but I want you to scrub up all the water in my bathroom (her pipes had burst and sewage was leaking everywhere) IMMEDIATELY!" I very politely (or at least as politely as I could manage) told her that I didn't pay $650 to scrub her bathroom, I came to help the kids, and walked away before I took it upon myself to hit her for being such a monster. Later that night one of the girls (the one who was a prostitute found on a train) had a seizure (a symptom of her Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder). We were upstairs calming her down, when Prahba storms in and yells at her, telling her to stop acting like such a dramatic child. She grabbed her by the arm and told her to stop faking it or she was going to be kicked out on the streets. It's maddening.
Even the teachers rely entirely - too much so - on the volunteers, and act a bit like children themselves at times. If they do not have something they need, they come to us asking for it, when they could simply go into the closet and take out the needed materials. But, if something is broken, such as a desk or a window, they leave it for months before one of the volunteers notices and fixes it.
I started my computer classes this week. I had met with all of the teachers last week to discuss a schedule that worked for them, and I had written out a schedule for each individual teacher telling them what times their classes had computers. Both yesterday and today no kids showed up, and i had to go into the classrooms to remind the teachers about Computer class.
So, I suppose the reality of this country is hitting me pretty hard. Like I said, I wouldnt want to be anywhere else, but it makes staying at the orphanage very difficult. I struggle with wanting to just leave and begin my travels, but thinking about the kids being here and dealing with this crap every single day of their lives makes me feel guilty and deeply saddened, and is literally the ONLY thing keeping me here. 3 of the other volunteers left today after Prahba's outburst last night. It was seriously the most disturbing thing I've seen in India so far. I came here with hope in my heart that such people existed that would sacrifice the comforts of western life to open an orphanage for these kids who need help more than anyone I've ever encountered, and to come here to see what a monster she is...or at least has become....is truly disheartening. I'm not sure what I will do, but I told myself I need to stick it out as long as I can bear. I feel obligated to fulfill this committment both for the children and for myself.
So, for those of you who pray, please pray for these kids. Pray for Prahba, that she may find a way to live that does not ruin everything she has built here, which has the potential to be something extraordinary in this country of madness. Pray that these kids remain on a straight path and get the kind of emotional support that they need to not only survive, but function as happy, healthy human beings. And those of you who do not pray, keep them in your hearts. They can use all the love they can get.
Namaste,
Cass
Friday, September 8, 2006
Mass Email - Monsoon Madness
Hey all...
Today I witnessed rain like I've never experienced before. Even though its been insanely hot the past several days, we're still technically at the end of Monsoon season. This morning, bright and early...actually it wasn't bright, but dark rather, I was awakened by this enormous rumble and shaking, and the sound of things falling off my shelves. At first I thought it was an earthquake, but when I came to and looked outside to see literally - I kid you not - a SHEET of water pouring over all of my windows, I realized the sound was thunder. The rain was literally pouring out of the sky...no little droplets or even globs of water...it was literally like one giant waterfall coming from the clouds. The wind was so powerful, too, that it broke a couple of my window panels, and the lightning so intense, you could feel it on the back of your neck. It was fantastic! The grounds of the compound were so flooded, we couldn't even leave our rooms unil noon. It looked like The Ganges was flowing right through Ramana's Garden! The kids were excited because we had to cancel school since none of the teachers or outside kids could make it in, so we all got to stay in bed until noon. One of the older kids had left his guitar in my room, so it was a great chance to play a little music, which I hadn't done in a while...even though the strings are horrible and practically impossible to tune. It was also a great opportunity to rest a bit, as I was officially initiated into the Delhi-belly club last night with a nasty stomache bug. Fortunately, we have this Chinese remedy that clears it up in about a half hour.
Last night all of the volunteers went out for dinner in Laxman Juhla at a place called the Moonlight Cafe. Apparently a lot of westerners go there, as they are the only place in town who serve real Tofu (which is why we wanted to go there, all of us being vegetarians who had been eating nothing but daal for protein). It was great fun, as we have a good group of people: There's Maggie, the other American girl (19) from Jersey, Liz & Jared, and Aussie couple (he's a DJ and she's a nanny) both very cool hippie folks...then Marc, from Amsterdam (he wears chords and vans every single day, even if it's 100 degrees outside)...Raydene is a 40-something woman from Boston who just got divorced and sold everything she owned to travel around the world "forever" as she says, and we had a young Indian girl from Bombay, Regita, visiting us who came along. It was great to get everyone together and let loose a bit (athough it's hard to let TOO loose, as alcohol is practically impossible to find around here). We had this dessert called "Hello to the Queen" which was amazing...I dont even know what was in it, but I think it was deep fried bananas, ice cream, chocolate sauce, and something that looked and tasted like cake batter at the bottom...the Queen served us well for sure.
Anyway, I'll try to keep it short. I had to get out into town before the rain came again, and so I could check on a room in town to see if I might move in. I am still working on getting pictures up, so bare with me.
Thanks to all of you who have been keeping in touch. It's always great to hear from you all and hear what you're up to. Also, let me know if you want anything specific...everything is so cheap here, I"ve already started gift-shopping.
I hope you are all well. Do me a favor and take a nice hot shower for me so I can live vicariously through you all (we dont have hot water here).
Peace y'all
Cass
Today I witnessed rain like I've never experienced before. Even though its been insanely hot the past several days, we're still technically at the end of Monsoon season. This morning, bright and early...actually it wasn't bright, but dark rather, I was awakened by this enormous rumble and shaking, and the sound of things falling off my shelves. At first I thought it was an earthquake, but when I came to and looked outside to see literally - I kid you not - a SHEET of water pouring over all of my windows, I realized the sound was thunder. The rain was literally pouring out of the sky...no little droplets or even globs of water...it was literally like one giant waterfall coming from the clouds. The wind was so powerful, too, that it broke a couple of my window panels, and the lightning so intense, you could feel it on the back of your neck. It was fantastic! The grounds of the compound were so flooded, we couldn't even leave our rooms unil noon. It looked like The Ganges was flowing right through Ramana's Garden! The kids were excited because we had to cancel school since none of the teachers or outside kids could make it in, so we all got to stay in bed until noon. One of the older kids had left his guitar in my room, so it was a great chance to play a little music, which I hadn't done in a while...even though the strings are horrible and practically impossible to tune. It was also a great opportunity to rest a bit, as I was officially initiated into the Delhi-belly club last night with a nasty stomache bug. Fortunately, we have this Chinese remedy that clears it up in about a half hour.
Last night all of the volunteers went out for dinner in Laxman Juhla at a place called the Moonlight Cafe. Apparently a lot of westerners go there, as they are the only place in town who serve real Tofu (which is why we wanted to go there, all of us being vegetarians who had been eating nothing but daal for protein). It was great fun, as we have a good group of people: There's Maggie, the other American girl (19) from Jersey, Liz & Jared, and Aussie couple (he's a DJ and she's a nanny) both very cool hippie folks...then Marc, from Amsterdam (he wears chords and vans every single day, even if it's 100 degrees outside)...Raydene is a 40-something woman from Boston who just got divorced and sold everything she owned to travel around the world "forever" as she says, and we had a young Indian girl from Bombay, Regita, visiting us who came along. It was great to get everyone together and let loose a bit (athough it's hard to let TOO loose, as alcohol is practically impossible to find around here). We had this dessert called "Hello to the Queen" which was amazing...I dont even know what was in it, but I think it was deep fried bananas, ice cream, chocolate sauce, and something that looked and tasted like cake batter at the bottom...the Queen served us well for sure.
Anyway, I'll try to keep it short. I had to get out into town before the rain came again, and so I could check on a room in town to see if I might move in. I am still working on getting pictures up, so bare with me.
Thanks to all of you who have been keeping in touch. It's always great to hear from you all and hear what you're up to. Also, let me know if you want anything specific...everything is so cheap here, I"ve already started gift-shopping.
I hope you are all well. Do me a favor and take a nice hot shower for me so I can live vicariously through you all (we dont have hot water here).
Peace y'all
Cass
Wednesday, September 6, 2006
Journal Entry 9/6/06
Well, days like today, I suppose, are made to lift one out of a slump and give some perspective. After worrying and meditating on not feeling like I had a purpose here, as well as wanting to get out more and meet more people, I feel as though today was a step forward. This morning the 1st Class teacher was out, so Raydene and I had to teach all morning - English, Science and math. While the kids are all adorable, they were just a terror to teach - talking, hitting, running all over the place...It was by far the most challenging thing I've done so far here, but that made it so much more rewarding. It was so great to get to know the kids a bit better as well.
Then, I basically took the rest of the afternoon off to read - finished my 2nd book and did some Lonely Planet research for my travels. Then I walked into Laxman Julha by myself for the first time to go check my email. I know my way around pretty well now, and every time I go out I see someone I know (mostly volunteers @ Ramana's as well as the internet cafe owners who are very nice). I ran into Jared (Jared and Liz are a young, very cool Aussie couple volunteering at Ramana's) and talked to them a bit about their travels. Then I stopped in to the German Bakery (another regular place now) for a water and a cinnamon roll, and ran into another volunteer, Tanya. I ended up running into Liz and Marc, 2 other volunteers, who asked me to join them for dinner. it was great to get out and to get to know some of the other volunteers a bit better. All are very cool people whom i'd like to know better for sure.
Tonight, after Satsang, Maggie and I made tea in the kitchen (which has become our nightly routine), and a bunch of the kids were in the kitchen with us. We all danced and sang and had a great time with the kids. I feel like I'm starting to slowly adjust. I haven't even been here a week yet, but it feels like so much longer. My first DAY felt like a week! It's so hard to imagine that a week ago I was in Marin, living a completely different life. I definitely feel worlds away....I love it.
Then, I basically took the rest of the afternoon off to read - finished my 2nd book and did some Lonely Planet research for my travels. Then I walked into Laxman Julha by myself for the first time to go check my email. I know my way around pretty well now, and every time I go out I see someone I know (mostly volunteers @ Ramana's as well as the internet cafe owners who are very nice). I ran into Jared (Jared and Liz are a young, very cool Aussie couple volunteering at Ramana's) and talked to them a bit about their travels. Then I stopped in to the German Bakery (another regular place now) for a water and a cinnamon roll, and ran into another volunteer, Tanya. I ended up running into Liz and Marc, 2 other volunteers, who asked me to join them for dinner. it was great to get out and to get to know some of the other volunteers a bit better. All are very cool people whom i'd like to know better for sure.
Tonight, after Satsang, Maggie and I made tea in the kitchen (which has become our nightly routine), and a bunch of the kids were in the kitchen with us. We all danced and sang and had a great time with the kids. I feel like I'm starting to slowly adjust. I haven't even been here a week yet, but it feels like so much longer. My first DAY felt like a week! It's so hard to imagine that a week ago I was in Marin, living a completely different life. I definitely feel worlds away....I love it.
Monday, September 4, 2006
Mass Email - Update
hello all!
please forgive the bad typing. some of the keys on this keyboard dont work. :)
i am definitely starting to settle in more at the orphanage, getting to know the kids and staff and figure out exactly where i fit in here as far as responsibility. it has been a bit challenging because i feel a bit out of my comfort zone, having never worked with kids under the age of 15 or so, but I've been meditating on it quite a bit (ya, people do that here) and decided I need to just find a way to help that is genuine and true to who i am. I am not capable of doing EVERYTHING as a few of the volunteers do. some are just so committed and so in their element with the kids. it's very inspiring, as well as a bit frustrating to not feel the same passion for it (my hearstrings tend to be pulled a bit more by injured cows in the streets and illegal deforestation going on in the surrounding mountains) but I'm learning to accept that my calling and my real passions are elsewhere, but that it is still very important for me to stay committed to my obligation here as best i can.
that said, i am anxious to start teaching my computer class next week. i will be teaching mon - sat, teaching classes (grades) 2 - 6. i think it will help a lot to have a set schedule and a specific role with the children, and it will also help me to get to know them all better and on a new level. the children are amazing, and spending time with them really does make me understand why I am here...especially at Satsong (our nightly prayer gathering) where they all race to pile in our laps and hold our hands while we sing hindi songs. the songs (which are prayers) are really beautiful, and the words that I've caught are very profound compared to many western religious prayers (in my opinion). Things like "you and i are one" and another song which names all of the major religious figures in all world religions and then says "I am [Buddha/Jesus/etc], and I am you." At the end of each satsong they sing this really beautiful chant wishing for world peace. i'm going to have one of the kids write it out for me and translate so i can send it. it would be a good one to share with students/friends/children back home.
Anyhow, other than that, i have been moved into a new room because i have gotten very badly bitten by mosquitos, and the new room has closed windows and doors. It has kind of become the running joke aorund the compound, as i'm the only person who has gotten bit, and i am literally covered from head to toe in massive bites. i've tried every kind of deet product, including one that I sprayed on all my clothes and my sheets, but nothing has worked. i took pictures of all my bites, but wont send them (like i said...ALL over)! Although i do have some pictures I'm sending for you to get a sense of the place. the internet here is very slow, so i can only send a few. I'll try to upload more onto my ofoto account and send them out. these 2 are of a couple of the kids swinging, and one of me and some kids at ganga (the ganges, where they bathe and wash clothes).
Also, just to put it out there, Ramana's garden can use as much help as possible. If any of you would like to send donations of clothes (we need warm clothes for winter), toys, books or medicine (lice shampoo is greatly needed), or if you would like to help set up a sponsorship/donation matching program through your company (um EMI, come on people!) or school that would also be fantastic. for donations, you can send via DHL only to the following address:
Dr. Prabhavati
Ramana's Garden
Tapovan Uttaranchal
249192 India
phone #: 01352435558
via: Dottolo dehradun
Anyway, thanks to all of you for your email responses. I will be in touch soon, as i dont start teaching until next week, but will probably only be able to write once a week starting then. Usually sundays..
i hope you are all well. please keep in touch!
much love
cass
please forgive the bad typing. some of the keys on this keyboard dont work. :)
i am definitely starting to settle in more at the orphanage, getting to know the kids and staff and figure out exactly where i fit in here as far as responsibility. it has been a bit challenging because i feel a bit out of my comfort zone, having never worked with kids under the age of 15 or so, but I've been meditating on it quite a bit (ya, people do that here) and decided I need to just find a way to help that is genuine and true to who i am. I am not capable of doing EVERYTHING as a few of the volunteers do. some are just so committed and so in their element with the kids. it's very inspiring, as well as a bit frustrating to not feel the same passion for it (my hearstrings tend to be pulled a bit more by injured cows in the streets and illegal deforestation going on in the surrounding mountains) but I'm learning to accept that my calling and my real passions are elsewhere, but that it is still very important for me to stay committed to my obligation here as best i can.
that said, i am anxious to start teaching my computer class next week. i will be teaching mon - sat, teaching classes (grades) 2 - 6. i think it will help a lot to have a set schedule and a specific role with the children, and it will also help me to get to know them all better and on a new level. the children are amazing, and spending time with them really does make me understand why I am here...especially at Satsong (our nightly prayer gathering) where they all race to pile in our laps and hold our hands while we sing hindi songs. the songs (which are prayers) are really beautiful, and the words that I've caught are very profound compared to many western religious prayers (in my opinion). Things like "you and i are one" and another song which names all of the major religious figures in all world religions and then says "I am [Buddha/Jesus/etc], and I am you." At the end of each satsong they sing this really beautiful chant wishing for world peace. i'm going to have one of the kids write it out for me and translate so i can send it. it would be a good one to share with students/friends/children back home.
Anyhow, other than that, i have been moved into a new room because i have gotten very badly bitten by mosquitos, and the new room has closed windows and doors. It has kind of become the running joke aorund the compound, as i'm the only person who has gotten bit, and i am literally covered from head to toe in massive bites. i've tried every kind of deet product, including one that I sprayed on all my clothes and my sheets, but nothing has worked. i took pictures of all my bites, but wont send them (like i said...ALL over)! Although i do have some pictures I'm sending for you to get a sense of the place. the internet here is very slow, so i can only send a few. I'll try to upload more onto my ofoto account and send them out. these 2 are of a couple of the kids swinging, and one of me and some kids at ganga (the ganges, where they bathe and wash clothes).
Also, just to put it out there, Ramana's garden can use as much help as possible. If any of you would like to send donations of clothes (we need warm clothes for winter), toys, books or medicine (lice shampoo is greatly needed), or if you would like to help set up a sponsorship/donation matching program through your company (um EMI, come on people!) or school that would also be fantastic. for donations, you can send via DHL only to the following address:
Dr. Prabhavati
Ramana's Garden
Tapovan Uttaranchal
249192 India
phone #: 01352435558
via: Dottolo dehradun
Anyway, thanks to all of you for your email responses. I will be in touch soon, as i dont start teaching until next week, but will probably only be able to write once a week starting then. Usually sundays..
i hope you are all well. please keep in touch!
much love
cass
Journal Entry 9/4/06
I love it here - India...Rishikesh...Ramana's Garden...all of it. It's beautiful and peaceful ("shanti shanti" as they say here) and it's full of everything I came here looking for: natural beauty, culture, travelers, good people, spirituality, and a chance to help. Yet, for some reason I don't quite feel a part of it yet. it could just be a matter of time, and I hope that this is the case. I certainly feel more a part of Ramana's every day. But I feel as though nothing is enough in this short amount of time. 2 months at Ramana's is nothing in proportion to these kids' lives. 2 months is barely enough time to really get to know ONE person, let alone 70! And, at the same time, I don't feel I have anything adequate to give these kids. I chose this project because it was out of my comfort zone. Working with kids is something I've never done before. And while I do feel like I'm pushing myself and that this will be a good experience for ME, I feel selfish and guilty because I don't know if I have it in me to really make any impact - let alone difference - in these kids' lives. It makes me question myself and my strength of character and my worth a great deal, because there are people around me here whose hearts are in this 100%...people who give everything they have into this place and into the kids, and I can see them making a difference. This is their calling, without a doubt. And then there's me - me who knew going into this that this wasn't my calling, but chose it to push MYSELF. I feel so selfish because I talk about wanting to make a difference in the world - a REAL one - and here I am living with these 60 amazing kids, and I feel I have nothing to give...
Saturday, September 2, 2006
Journal Entry 9/2/06
I have only been a visitor and habitant of Rishikesh (and Ramana's Garden more specifically), for a little over 24 hours, and I already so rapidly feel a sense of "home." Not home in a sense of residence as much as a sense of belonging. While there are adjustments to be made in terms of routine around the compound (the orphanage), getting to know the children and staff, as well as cultural adjustments (mostly social) such as remembering to say "namaste" in greeting instead of the habitual "hello" that most Westerners say even when visiting a foreign country...or removing my shoes when entering a room. I feel a very tangible acceptance to the remarkable "family" here. I had been told, but only now am starting to understand, how the Indian culture is more about the community as whole than it is about the well-being of an individual. While each individual is acknowledged, the community acts as a unit working toward one common goal to which everybody brings their skills and efforts. That is how Ramana's is run - each person (each volunteer) is appreciated, but the focus is on the health, safety, and most of all the education of the children. It is my belief, and my experience, that when a group of people work together to reach a common goal, each person whole-heartedly contributing what they are able, then not only are goals realized more effectively, but individuals are enriched more deeply.
Mass Email - Adventures in India Begin
Hello all!
After what has been an incredible and incredibly LONG journey, I am finally in Rishikesh, and have safely arrived at Ramana's Garden (the orphanage where I will be staying and working for the next 2 months). Even though I have only been in India for about a day and a half, I feel as though I left home a week ago! After not sleeping more than a couple hours (thanks to Joe, who kept feeding me drinks at Sam's Tues evening), I had to get up at 4am to try to catch an earlier flight to Newark Wed morning, since my scheduled flight was likely to get me there too late to catch my flight to Delhi. Fortunately, I made it on a 7:30am flight, and arrived in Newark with plenty of time to spend getting fattened up by my dad at the airport (thanks, Dad)! My flight to Delhi was scheduled to leave Newark at 8:45 pm, but boarding was pushed to about 9:20. After boarding, we ended up sitting on the runway in line for almost 4 hours before finally leaving the ground. Fortunately, however, I was seated next to a very nice, young Bengali couple who live in New Jersey and were flying home to see family. We talked for most of the flight, and had exchanged phone numbers and email addresses before even leaving the ground. They were the first of many warm Indian people I have encountered.
After a VERY long flight, I finally landed in Delhi 4 hours later than I was scheduled to arrive. My bags were also not on the flight on which I had arrived, so I spent an additional hour or so trying to find them...meanwhile, it hit me that the driver who was supposed to pick me up was nowhere in sight, so I was directed to a "pre-paid" taxi (the only taxi service sponsored federally that will not take you to a dark alley and tell you your destination has burned to the ground). After waiting outside in the rain with a funny little Indian man who asked me everything under the moon, including what I have to be the most commonly asked questions of Americans by Indian people:
1. Where are you from?
2. How old are you?
3. Why are you not married?
4. What is your job?
5. How much money do you make?
6. How much was your flight to India?
7. How many brothers or sisters do you have?
Apparently I'm considered somewhat of a rebel for a)not being married at my ripe-old age of 23, and b) not having any biological siblings. (I've now just stopped trying to explain the "step-sibling" idea and saying that I have 2 wonderful brothers and a beautiful sister - which is true). I finally was driven to a hotel close to the aiport at around 1am, where I immediately tried to get in touch with my parents so that I could contact the woman running the orphanage to let her know that I had not been picked up and was staying in Delhi. I finally reached her to find out that the drivers had been in the Continental office looking for me (which is why I missed them), and that she was sending them to the hotel to get me. It was quite a production at the hotel when I walked down the stairs carrying my bags after just checking in. I waited in the lobby for a half hour while 5 Indian bellmen all stood in a circle staring at me as if I were a novelty they'd never seen. I just sat quietly and laughed to myself.
After finally being picked up at 2:30am, I drove 6 hours to Rishikesh in tiny, un-airconditioned car with 2 lovely Indian men who proceded to ask me the same 7 questions as the taxi driver. While I was exhausted from not sleeping for 20-some-odd hours, the drive was so much to take in that I forced myself to stay awake.
Rishikesh is only 150 miles from Delhi, but the drive takes about 6 hours due to the roads which are very poorly paved and quite narrow.
The driving in India is enough to write many pages about, but I will spare you. Most roads have 2 lanes, although there really isnt any acknowledgment of them, as everyone drives just about anywhere on the road. And although in India they drive on the left side of the road, cars going both directions will drive on either side, swerving to avoid hitting oncoming traffic. It's kind of like a live version of Mario Cart (for those of you who play video games). Also, Indian drivers use their horns more than they use their brakes. Even if there is no car in sight, the drivers honk, and when there are cars around, they honk to let them know they are passing them, to which that car responds by honking back. It's hillarious, and made LA driving seem like a piece of cake.
The scenery on the way to Rishikesh was breathtaking in every extreme. We drove through villages consisting of cardboard huts with people sleeping outside on just about anything from cots to bicycles. Cows, pigs and dogs roam freely through the streets, often times sleeping right in the middle of the road, ignoring altogether the cars honking at them to move. In fact, we had to stop at one point so that the driver could literally throw a dog off the road so we could pass. Once we got farther north, the scenery changed to rich greenery. They have a word in Hindi, "Hariahi" which literally means "the fresh air comes from the green trees" and it perfectly depicts the area around the northern Ganges where I am living. Around 6am we stopped for Chai and sat on a cot watching the sun rising over the lower Himalayas, and I have to say it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The air was sticky-hot, but felt incredible through the car window as we drove our final leg to Rishikesh.
I arrived at Ramana's Garden at 7am on what I though was Thursday, but was actually Friday. I was greeted by a swarm of little children wearing grey jumpers over bright pink shirts (their school uniform) who immediately took my bags and led me to Dwabha (the woman who runs the orhpange.
The compound (the land on which the orphanage is built) reminds me a great deal of the Tom Sawyer treehouse in Disneyland. The land is surreal, surrounded by incredibly thick, lush greenery that reaches out over the mountains that stretch out around the Ganges (which they call "Ganga") with a constant white fog tracing over the lower hillsides and over the river. The houses in which we live on the compound are round and made of adobe, and consist solely of 2 woven cots, and a shelf. The rooms are decorated with crafts made by the children. There are ladders leading up to literal tree-houses built much like those on the ground. Dwabha lives in an incredible, larger replica of these, with an office built right above, to which you have to climb a ladder leading up to swinging wooden doors. There is a kitchen which is constantly in use by the resident staff (mothers of children at the orphanage school) who cook around the clock. Down the hill is the gazebo, which is a straw covered room looking out over the mountains and Ganga where we meet each night for "Satsong," a prayer ceremony where all the children sit in our laps and sing prayers in Hindi. The classrooms are on the lower level, as is the Cafe which serves the local villages, and will open in a few weeks.
Instead of sleeping, I was immediately swept away by the children who introduced me to the other volunteers. There is one other American girl named Maggie who has become my closest friend. She is from New Jersey, and had been at Ramana's for 5 months in the spring and has returned. She is 19, but has already assumed the head role, taking on practically every responsibilty including giving medicine, teaching, and reprimanding the teachers if they are not behaving properly (one teacher was beating the children. She got fired). There is also a Dutch couple living above me, athough they only work in the afternoons, as well as a couple Canadian volunteers who live in town and come to Ramana's in the afternoons. Although Dwabha runs the place, she is not usually around, as she is constantly fundraising for the school, and has just sold a movie script. She's remarkable. I will tell you more about her later, as it would take a while.
That day, I had to help tutor the children after class, and we went down to Ganga where they bathed and washed their clothes. We waded in the river, which is flowing very heavily now because it is Monsoon season (it has been lightly raining since I've arrived). I spent some time with Maggie, and ate dinner (the food is incredible), and we all gathered for Satsong. This was by far my favorite part of the day. The children all sang a welcoming song to me, which was one of many things that made me feel at home here.
I have felt a sense of home since I arrived. Not so much in the sense of residence as in a feeling of belonging. Many people told me, although I am only now starting to understand the Indian way of community. The life here is not about the individual (although all individuals are acknowledged for their part), but moreso about the community. The team at Ramana's works so closely, all with the the common goal of ensuring the children are safe, healthy and educated.
The staff and volunteers met today to discuss what we will all be doing. Ramana's just got 5 computers donated to the school, so I am going to start (and teach) a computer class twice a week to the 2nd through 6th classes (grades). I am excited to take on this challenge, as well as the challenge of everything else I will be doing over the next 2 months. It is definitely beyond my usual comfort zone, but upon meeting the children, I realized that THIS part of my time here is not about me, it is about them.
The children are beyond amazing, and I will elaboate more on them next time, as I know this is getting long. I have left out many details which I will fill in later, but I wanted to at least send an email to say that I have arrived safely and am doing very, very well. I am now in Rishikesh with my friend, Maggie, as today is crafts day (which ended at noon), and tomorrow is my day off. I will try to write again tomorrow if we stay in Rishikesh. The LeapNow groups come in a week or so, which means we will get a few days off to travel a bit. I have taken a great deal of pictures, and will try to send a few next time I write. The man who runs the internet cafe is out today, so I cannot load pictures.
It is looking like I will be working Mon - Friday full time, and until mid-afternoon on Saturdays, with Sundays off for the next couple of weeks, so I will probably only be able to write once, maybe twice a week. However, I would LOVE to hear from all of you, so please keep in touch. Many of you have been in my thoughts a great deal while I have been here, wishing you were here to experience certain things with me. I see and feel so many things that remind me of some of you, and I see so many of you in some of the children.
There are so many things I would like to explain in more detail, but I am still a bit jet-lagged and tired. As I said, I will describe details more later. I'm just happy to be here finally and finding everything I could have hoped for.
I hope you are all well. I will be in touch soon.
Love to you all,
Cass
After what has been an incredible and incredibly LONG journey, I am finally in Rishikesh, and have safely arrived at Ramana's Garden (the orphanage where I will be staying and working for the next 2 months). Even though I have only been in India for about a day and a half, I feel as though I left home a week ago! After not sleeping more than a couple hours (thanks to Joe, who kept feeding me drinks at Sam's Tues evening), I had to get up at 4am to try to catch an earlier flight to Newark Wed morning, since my scheduled flight was likely to get me there too late to catch my flight to Delhi. Fortunately, I made it on a 7:30am flight, and arrived in Newark with plenty of time to spend getting fattened up by my dad at the airport (thanks, Dad)! My flight to Delhi was scheduled to leave Newark at 8:45 pm, but boarding was pushed to about 9:20. After boarding, we ended up sitting on the runway in line for almost 4 hours before finally leaving the ground. Fortunately, however, I was seated next to a very nice, young Bengali couple who live in New Jersey and were flying home to see family. We talked for most of the flight, and had exchanged phone numbers and email addresses before even leaving the ground. They were the first of many warm Indian people I have encountered.
After a VERY long flight, I finally landed in Delhi 4 hours later than I was scheduled to arrive. My bags were also not on the flight on which I had arrived, so I spent an additional hour or so trying to find them...meanwhile, it hit me that the driver who was supposed to pick me up was nowhere in sight, so I was directed to a "pre-paid" taxi (the only taxi service sponsored federally that will not take you to a dark alley and tell you your destination has burned to the ground). After waiting outside in the rain with a funny little Indian man who asked me everything under the moon, including what I have to be the most commonly asked questions of Americans by Indian people:
1. Where are you from?
2. How old are you?
3. Why are you not married?
4. What is your job?
5. How much money do you make?
6. How much was your flight to India?
7. How many brothers or sisters do you have?
Apparently I'm considered somewhat of a rebel for a)not being married at my ripe-old age of 23, and b) not having any biological siblings. (I've now just stopped trying to explain the "step-sibling" idea and saying that I have 2 wonderful brothers and a beautiful sister - which is true). I finally was driven to a hotel close to the aiport at around 1am, where I immediately tried to get in touch with my parents so that I could contact the woman running the orphanage to let her know that I had not been picked up and was staying in Delhi. I finally reached her to find out that the drivers had been in the Continental office looking for me (which is why I missed them), and that she was sending them to the hotel to get me. It was quite a production at the hotel when I walked down the stairs carrying my bags after just checking in. I waited in the lobby for a half hour while 5 Indian bellmen all stood in a circle staring at me as if I were a novelty they'd never seen. I just sat quietly and laughed to myself.
After finally being picked up at 2:30am, I drove 6 hours to Rishikesh in tiny, un-airconditioned car with 2 lovely Indian men who proceded to ask me the same 7 questions as the taxi driver. While I was exhausted from not sleeping for 20-some-odd hours, the drive was so much to take in that I forced myself to stay awake.
Rishikesh is only 150 miles from Delhi, but the drive takes about 6 hours due to the roads which are very poorly paved and quite narrow.
The driving in India is enough to write many pages about, but I will spare you. Most roads have 2 lanes, although there really isnt any acknowledgment of them, as everyone drives just about anywhere on the road. And although in India they drive on the left side of the road, cars going both directions will drive on either side, swerving to avoid hitting oncoming traffic. It's kind of like a live version of Mario Cart (for those of you who play video games). Also, Indian drivers use their horns more than they use their brakes. Even if there is no car in sight, the drivers honk, and when there are cars around, they honk to let them know they are passing them, to which that car responds by honking back. It's hillarious, and made LA driving seem like a piece of cake.
The scenery on the way to Rishikesh was breathtaking in every extreme. We drove through villages consisting of cardboard huts with people sleeping outside on just about anything from cots to bicycles. Cows, pigs and dogs roam freely through the streets, often times sleeping right in the middle of the road, ignoring altogether the cars honking at them to move. In fact, we had to stop at one point so that the driver could literally throw a dog off the road so we could pass. Once we got farther north, the scenery changed to rich greenery. They have a word in Hindi, "Hariahi" which literally means "the fresh air comes from the green trees" and it perfectly depicts the area around the northern Ganges where I am living. Around 6am we stopped for Chai and sat on a cot watching the sun rising over the lower Himalayas, and I have to say it was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. The air was sticky-hot, but felt incredible through the car window as we drove our final leg to Rishikesh.
I arrived at Ramana's Garden at 7am on what I though was Thursday, but was actually Friday. I was greeted by a swarm of little children wearing grey jumpers over bright pink shirts (their school uniform) who immediately took my bags and led me to Dwabha (the woman who runs the orhpange.
The compound (the land on which the orphanage is built) reminds me a great deal of the Tom Sawyer treehouse in Disneyland. The land is surreal, surrounded by incredibly thick, lush greenery that reaches out over the mountains that stretch out around the Ganges (which they call "Ganga") with a constant white fog tracing over the lower hillsides and over the river. The houses in which we live on the compound are round and made of adobe, and consist solely of 2 woven cots, and a shelf. The rooms are decorated with crafts made by the children. There are ladders leading up to literal tree-houses built much like those on the ground. Dwabha lives in an incredible, larger replica of these, with an office built right above, to which you have to climb a ladder leading up to swinging wooden doors. There is a kitchen which is constantly in use by the resident staff (mothers of children at the orphanage school) who cook around the clock. Down the hill is the gazebo, which is a straw covered room looking out over the mountains and Ganga where we meet each night for "Satsong," a prayer ceremony where all the children sit in our laps and sing prayers in Hindi. The classrooms are on the lower level, as is the Cafe which serves the local villages, and will open in a few weeks.
Instead of sleeping, I was immediately swept away by the children who introduced me to the other volunteers. There is one other American girl named Maggie who has become my closest friend. She is from New Jersey, and had been at Ramana's for 5 months in the spring and has returned. She is 19, but has already assumed the head role, taking on practically every responsibilty including giving medicine, teaching, and reprimanding the teachers if they are not behaving properly (one teacher was beating the children. She got fired). There is also a Dutch couple living above me, athough they only work in the afternoons, as well as a couple Canadian volunteers who live in town and come to Ramana's in the afternoons. Although Dwabha runs the place, she is not usually around, as she is constantly fundraising for the school, and has just sold a movie script. She's remarkable. I will tell you more about her later, as it would take a while.
That day, I had to help tutor the children after class, and we went down to Ganga where they bathed and washed their clothes. We waded in the river, which is flowing very heavily now because it is Monsoon season (it has been lightly raining since I've arrived). I spent some time with Maggie, and ate dinner (the food is incredible), and we all gathered for Satsong. This was by far my favorite part of the day. The children all sang a welcoming song to me, which was one of many things that made me feel at home here.
I have felt a sense of home since I arrived. Not so much in the sense of residence as in a feeling of belonging. Many people told me, although I am only now starting to understand the Indian way of community. The life here is not about the individual (although all individuals are acknowledged for their part), but moreso about the community. The team at Ramana's works so closely, all with the the common goal of ensuring the children are safe, healthy and educated.
The staff and volunteers met today to discuss what we will all be doing. Ramana's just got 5 computers donated to the school, so I am going to start (and teach) a computer class twice a week to the 2nd through 6th classes (grades). I am excited to take on this challenge, as well as the challenge of everything else I will be doing over the next 2 months. It is definitely beyond my usual comfort zone, but upon meeting the children, I realized that THIS part of my time here is not about me, it is about them.
The children are beyond amazing, and I will elaboate more on them next time, as I know this is getting long. I have left out many details which I will fill in later, but I wanted to at least send an email to say that I have arrived safely and am doing very, very well. I am now in Rishikesh with my friend, Maggie, as today is crafts day (which ended at noon), and tomorrow is my day off. I will try to write again tomorrow if we stay in Rishikesh. The LeapNow groups come in a week or so, which means we will get a few days off to travel a bit. I have taken a great deal of pictures, and will try to send a few next time I write. The man who runs the internet cafe is out today, so I cannot load pictures.
It is looking like I will be working Mon - Friday full time, and until mid-afternoon on Saturdays, with Sundays off for the next couple of weeks, so I will probably only be able to write once, maybe twice a week. However, I would LOVE to hear from all of you, so please keep in touch. Many of you have been in my thoughts a great deal while I have been here, wishing you were here to experience certain things with me. I see and feel so many things that remind me of some of you, and I see so many of you in some of the children.
There are so many things I would like to explain in more detail, but I am still a bit jet-lagged and tired. As I said, I will describe details more later. I'm just happy to be here finally and finding everything I could have hoped for.
I hope you are all well. I will be in touch soon.
Love to you all,
Cass
Monday, August 14, 2006
Mission Statement: India
I leave for India in 2 weeks, 1 day, and eleven hours...ish. That is, of course, assuming Delhi doesnt get bombed by some rampant Al Quaeda terrorists, and the Indian Embassy (or my own common sense) doesnt allow me to enter the country. But, I'm hoping for the best. This will be my first visit to a so-called "third-world" country. I think (although I'm ignorantly assuming this out of sheer and blatant cynicism toward our current administration - and therefore America as a whole) that "third-world" is a term thought up by some occidental imperialist who believes that our fine YOUNG country is clearly far more civilized than, say, a country that has existed for thousands and thousands of years. *sigh* OK, perhaps in some ways...but certainly not in the contet of culture or spirituality. America, in the shadow of these "third-world" cultures is but an adolescent, struggling through the awkward turblance of cultural growth and identity. And our pathetic excuse for a leader is the perfect projection of an adolescent - wanting to do nothing but fight, impose his ignorant views onto other out of pride, and defend his views in such a way that 98% of what comes out of his mouth is complete and utter bullshit.
Who are we to step in and literally devastate a country with an unprecidented war, and the go so far as to try to completely change the government and values of a culture we dont even come close to understanding? Assholes. That's who. American assholes.
That said, perhaps some good has come out of these tragic, mind-numbingly maddening times. For me, the only two presidential elections I have been able to vote in have yeilded 5 years of an Administration that has almost completely drained the nation of America of its trust in the government. It has brought the first act of war on US soil since the bombings at Pearl Harbor (which, for people my age is primarily visualized as a heartwarming motion picture starring Ben Affleck & Josh Hartnett). It has instilled a sense of fear and vulnerability that has sparked a flame of fiery passion in so many young (and old) Americans that so unmistakably mirrors that of the late 1960's - early 1970's when people my age grew their hair long, stood in picket lines, wore flowers in their hair, took hallucinogenic drugs and wrote some of the best music in the history of man - all to try to find an outlet for the fear and anger that surrounded them, and to find a place of hope where peace existed amid chaos, and where the people of America were, indeed, free. Free from a war we don't believe in (Vietnam or Iraq), free from a government so corrupt that our leaders get away with such blatant lies and obvious crimes right in front of our face and nobody even bats an eye anymore. Free from a world that hates us so passionately that their compassion for Americans as brothers and sisters on this earth has crumbled into spite...all because of ONE person's pride and self-interest. Free from a government who turns its back on our rapidly decreasing environmental stability, and cares for nothing green other than money. It's maddening, heart-breaking, and absolutely 100% inexcusable.
BUT...as I said...I can find one small strand of hope amid this massive cloud of destruction, and that is that the cumulative events of the past 5 years have sparked an awakening flame within me to do something - ANYTHING - that will help start the long, slow process of reversing the damage that has been done - and more importantly, to prevent any more imminent damage from allowing this nation, this world, this planet to be destroyed in any sense of the word. I see that same fire in the faces of so many people around me, and I read about it in the stories of those who lived before me. I hear it in the words and voices of musicians, both old and new. It's promising because it shows that this need to protect ourselves and our earth is one innate facet of humanity, and in our world, that is a sign of truth. There is truth in this need for change, and that is what gives us hope that it is possible.
However, not everyone sees this truth. Many are too clouded by fear (fear of change, fear of the unknown) or greed or power or ignorance. Its an age-old problem, and I certainly don't claim to have THE solution. But, for me, one solution to these parasites of human nature seems so blindingly obvious: TRAVEL.
Travel the world, and do it in whatever way or by whatever means you wish - whether it's staying in 5 star hotels or backpacking through the wilderness, just TRAVEL! But make sure you take the time to really see the world. Breathe it in - all of it, the good the bad, the ugly and the breath-taking - but make sure you don't go back home until you really feel you are a part of it. Don't allow yourself to hide from the parts that scare you (i.e. the poverty, the illness, the death). That is jsut as real as the pristine mountains and tropical beaches, if not moreso, and one does not negate the other. Just because there is poverty and death does not mean there is not also beauty and wonder. And just because there is such incredible and immense beauty in this world, does not mean there is not also pain and suffering. They are not two separate worlds. They are one...and all things exist within it regardless of one another.
"Comparisons are odious."
And once, and only once you have seen these many seemingly contradicting, yet one in the same truths that exist in this world, will you suddenly feel and understand that you are a part of it...that while you may not be directly suffering, you are a part of all the suffering in the world (and therefore part of the solution if you choose to act); and while beauty may sometimes seem far and out of reach, you are a part of that too because it's all the same. We are all one. It's overwhelming and seems complex, I know. And while I am young and do not know many things, THIS I know to be true.
So, this long-winded, scattered, and most likely incomplete proclamation is my mission statement for my relatively short and insignificant trip to India. These are at least SOME of the thoughts that fluttered through my mind incongruently in the process leading up to (as well as after) my decision to make this trip. And while I have absolutely no idea what I'll find when I do make this trip, I can only hope that some of this - and I'm sure much, much more - will continue to be true and will guide me through this journey and those to come.
Who are we to step in and literally devastate a country with an unprecidented war, and the go so far as to try to completely change the government and values of a culture we dont even come close to understanding? Assholes. That's who. American assholes.
That said, perhaps some good has come out of these tragic, mind-numbingly maddening times. For me, the only two presidential elections I have been able to vote in have yeilded 5 years of an Administration that has almost completely drained the nation of America of its trust in the government. It has brought the first act of war on US soil since the bombings at Pearl Harbor (which, for people my age is primarily visualized as a heartwarming motion picture starring Ben Affleck & Josh Hartnett). It has instilled a sense of fear and vulnerability that has sparked a flame of fiery passion in so many young (and old) Americans that so unmistakably mirrors that of the late 1960's - early 1970's when people my age grew their hair long, stood in picket lines, wore flowers in their hair, took hallucinogenic drugs and wrote some of the best music in the history of man - all to try to find an outlet for the fear and anger that surrounded them, and to find a place of hope where peace existed amid chaos, and where the people of America were, indeed, free. Free from a war we don't believe in (Vietnam or Iraq), free from a government so corrupt that our leaders get away with such blatant lies and obvious crimes right in front of our face and nobody even bats an eye anymore. Free from a world that hates us so passionately that their compassion for Americans as brothers and sisters on this earth has crumbled into spite...all because of ONE person's pride and self-interest. Free from a government who turns its back on our rapidly decreasing environmental stability, and cares for nothing green other than money. It's maddening, heart-breaking, and absolutely 100% inexcusable.
BUT...as I said...I can find one small strand of hope amid this massive cloud of destruction, and that is that the cumulative events of the past 5 years have sparked an awakening flame within me to do something - ANYTHING - that will help start the long, slow process of reversing the damage that has been done - and more importantly, to prevent any more imminent damage from allowing this nation, this world, this planet to be destroyed in any sense of the word. I see that same fire in the faces of so many people around me, and I read about it in the stories of those who lived before me. I hear it in the words and voices of musicians, both old and new. It's promising because it shows that this need to protect ourselves and our earth is one innate facet of humanity, and in our world, that is a sign of truth. There is truth in this need for change, and that is what gives us hope that it is possible.
However, not everyone sees this truth. Many are too clouded by fear (fear of change, fear of the unknown) or greed or power or ignorance. Its an age-old problem, and I certainly don't claim to have THE solution. But, for me, one solution to these parasites of human nature seems so blindingly obvious: TRAVEL.
Travel the world, and do it in whatever way or by whatever means you wish - whether it's staying in 5 star hotels or backpacking through the wilderness, just TRAVEL! But make sure you take the time to really see the world. Breathe it in - all of it, the good the bad, the ugly and the breath-taking - but make sure you don't go back home until you really feel you are a part of it. Don't allow yourself to hide from the parts that scare you (i.e. the poverty, the illness, the death). That is jsut as real as the pristine mountains and tropical beaches, if not moreso, and one does not negate the other. Just because there is poverty and death does not mean there is not also beauty and wonder. And just because there is such incredible and immense beauty in this world, does not mean there is not also pain and suffering. They are not two separate worlds. They are one...and all things exist within it regardless of one another.
"Comparisons are odious."
And once, and only once you have seen these many seemingly contradicting, yet one in the same truths that exist in this world, will you suddenly feel and understand that you are a part of it...that while you may not be directly suffering, you are a part of all the suffering in the world (and therefore part of the solution if you choose to act); and while beauty may sometimes seem far and out of reach, you are a part of that too because it's all the same. We are all one. It's overwhelming and seems complex, I know. And while I am young and do not know many things, THIS I know to be true.
So, this long-winded, scattered, and most likely incomplete proclamation is my mission statement for my relatively short and insignificant trip to India. These are at least SOME of the thoughts that fluttered through my mind incongruently in the process leading up to (as well as after) my decision to make this trip. And while I have absolutely no idea what I'll find when I do make this trip, I can only hope that some of this - and I'm sure much, much more - will continue to be true and will guide me through this journey and those to come.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
J.P.M.F.Y.F.
J.P.M.F.Y.F. - by Tim Easton
(from his album "Ammunition")
Jesus, protect me...Jesus, protect me
From your father's words
Not all of them
Just the ones that turn love into fear and hatred
And the ones who say they are above me
And then point their fingers down at me
And the ones who judge me when I'm troubled
And then tell me on my street that I am lost
And they tell me on my doorstep that I will burn in Hell
Jesus, protect me...Jesus, protect me
From your father's words
Like the ones who only speak with anger
They're screaming from my television
While stealing from the hand that feeds them
And demanding that you are the only way
While spitting in the face of love
With one hand on the Bible and the other in the purse
Jesus, protect me...Jesus, protect me
From your father's words
Like the ones who turn their back on the dying
And laugh in the face of pain and suffering
They would kill in the name of freedom
Or the ones who would manipulate the constitution
And try to make laws of their opinions
While walking shoulder to shoulder with greed and violence
To the ones who would start wars in your name
To the ones who would attack me for this song
I sing Jesus, protect me...Jesus, protect me
From your father's words
Not all of them
Just the ones who turn love into fear and hatred
(from his album "Ammunition")
Jesus, protect me...Jesus, protect me
From your father's words
Not all of them
Just the ones that turn love into fear and hatred
And the ones who say they are above me
And then point their fingers down at me
And the ones who judge me when I'm troubled
And then tell me on my street that I am lost
And they tell me on my doorstep that I will burn in Hell
Jesus, protect me...Jesus, protect me
From your father's words
Like the ones who only speak with anger
They're screaming from my television
While stealing from the hand that feeds them
And demanding that you are the only way
While spitting in the face of love
With one hand on the Bible and the other in the purse
Jesus, protect me...Jesus, protect me
From your father's words
Like the ones who turn their back on the dying
And laugh in the face of pain and suffering
They would kill in the name of freedom
Or the ones who would manipulate the constitution
And try to make laws of their opinions
While walking shoulder to shoulder with greed and violence
To the ones who would start wars in your name
To the ones who would attack me for this song
I sing Jesus, protect me...Jesus, protect me
From your father's words
Not all of them
Just the ones who turn love into fear and hatred
Sunday, June 4, 2006
Home
I find myself dwelling on the idea of "home" much more frequently lately. The next 6 weeks....let alone the next 6 months....are going to yeild a great deal of change for me. Good change, for sure...but with change often comes a need to recharge and check in with "home" and all the people, places and feelings associated with it. I consider myself to be one of the most fortunate to have my "home" in such a place of beauty. I honestly can't think of any other place on earth to where I'd rather return than Marin county and our beautiful Bay Area. So much about this place just reminds me of everything I love and value and cherish in my life, and every time I return I feel as though my sense of self is somehow recharged and validated by the fulfillment I get from being home.
Home is a place where I can walk for 4 hours in the wilderness and not see a single human being. It's also a place where I can walk down the street and run into an old friend I haven't seen in years. It's where I spend hours laughing with my family, and where I'm reminded of why I love them. It's where I can spend an entire day and night on top of a mountain with an old friend and never want to come down. The sunsets are unmatched. The stars are always out. The deer and turkeys share the road with you, and the air is always fresh. You can recycle cans, bottles and paper when you're walking down the streets of Fairfax, and you can't look anywhere without seeing green.
The people - my people - are just as amazing. They care about the world both in sentiment and in action. They have passion that leads them down paths that are not only respectable, but inspirational. They defy convention and seek out happiness and success where most would never think to look. They overcome obstacles that would floor most. Most of them can out smart me in any discussion, and outwit me in any debate, but can still make me laugh until I cry. They've taught me about patience and about determination. They've taught me about compassion and about humilty. They've taught me to stand up for what I believe in, even if the people around me disagree, and that there are infinite ways to reach happiness. In knowing them, I've learned how to let go of pain and how to laugh. I've learned how to love unconditionally, even if from a distance. I've learned that sometimes people find what they've been looking for all their lives when it seems like it's too late...but really it's just in time. Some of them are my teachers, some my source of laughter. Some look out for me, while others give me someone to look out for. Some I've only known for a relatively short time, others I've known longer than even they know. But in them all I've found guidance, friendship, inspiration, support, lightness of heart, love and the freedom to be myself. They are home to me, and they continue to be the pillars of meaning in my life. They are my foundation.
And since leaving home, I have continued to build upon that foundation, finding others who emulate these values and sentiments and who have become a part of what I call "home." Over the past 5 years I have met just as many amazing people who inspire me in ways others have before, as well as in ways I could never have prepared for. I have found love of a whole new depth, and laughter unparalleled. And now as I prepare to leave both places I've considered home, I feel sad but fortunate to now have TWO places to which I can return and feel as though I'm coming home.
I guess home is much more than a place, or even a series of places. It's a feeling, and a sense of belonging. A sense that you have existed somewhere, been a part of something, and felt an impact by the people and places you've come to know. And, hopefully...if you're lucky...you leave an impact as well...so when you return...even if it's years later and just for a visit...you can somehow slither back into place...and feel as though you've been there before.
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