I Call A Do-Over...Again

I am impeccably skilled at starting new projects...however I seem to have misplaced my ability to finish any of them.

I have started about 5 blogs over the course of the past 5 years or so, and rather than continuing to contribute to one of them, I keep starting new ones in an attempt to "wipe the slate clean," or what have you.

So...by gathering bits and peices of previous posts from previous blogs (the ones I've actually been able to track down), this is either my final attempt to start over and actually maintain a blog.......or, it's just another great idea gone wrong.

We'll see...

Mass Email - Happy Thanksgiving

Namaste, all!

I realize this will be arriving a bit early, but I wanted to send out some love to all of you in celebration of Thanksgiving (as it is actually the night of for me).

Being here in the noisy, polluted (yet still somehow tropical and beautiful in the paradoxal way that India is) city of Trivandrum awaiting our flight to Goa tomorrow morning, I can't help but feel overwhelmed with gratitude....for the opportunity I've had to experience all of the wonders of travel, to meet such an array of amazing people on the way, and to have such a solid group of extraordinary friends and family members to return home to next week.

...yup, that's right.....NEXT WEEK! I suppose I'll shamelessly admit that I have officially run out of money, and have to cut my trip short by 2 weeks. Typical, right? :) Although I'm actually finding it a bit of a blessing in disguise, as I will still have a full week to laze on the beaches of Goa before I head home. I've been fighting off a nasty cold for the past week or so, and the wear and tear of travel is definitely starting to take it's toll, so I think my return will be timely and highly anticipated on my end. If I'm lucky, maybe I can still catch a few scraps of leftovers from Thanksgiving.....................who am I kidding with my brothers and their appetites! :)

Anyhow, folks, I thought I'd keep this email relatively short and leave you all with some of the things I'm greattful for after traveling around India for 3 months:

-First and foremost, my family for being so supportive of my seemingly senseless dreams and ambitions, and moreso for inspiring me to pursue them with abandon. Each and every one of you is a blessing in my life, and I would surely not be who I am (and certainly where I am) without all of your love and support. I can't wait to see you.

-My friends of every history and calibur...I can't help but look at this list of people who I've been boring with my ridiculously long emails and think how fortunate I am to have such a group of extraordinary people to call my friends. You all embody qualities of beauty and greatness that have touched my life in so many different and profound ways, and I feel infinitely proud to have you in my life. Hearing from you all throughout my travels has kept me sane and grounded and I can't wait to come back and share all my crazy stories with you all (and hear what you've all been up to).

-The people I've met on my travels...from the kids at Ramana's, the other volunteers who became my dear friends, my travel partners, my Lotus House family, my Vipassana co-survivors, the beautiful Israelis, Kristin, and all the other wonderful people who came into my life a bit more briefly...I feel so lucky to have met you all, and hope that we will stay in touch. You will always have a home in California (or wherever I may be).

-The opportunity to travel.....being here in India I have met so many Indian people who are so awestruck by Western tourists. They bombard you with questions that seem, at first, a bit invasive, asking about your quality of life back home, how much money you make, your family, how much it cost you to come to India, etc. They ask about where you've been in India, and once you delve a bit deeper into the conversation, you will - more often than not - learn that they have never even left their hometown, let alone their state or country. They talk about how they could only dream of visiting the Western world to see what life is like outside of the chaos of India. We are SO lucky to have the opportunity to travel the world and experience life in other countries and cultures that are so vastly different from our own. It is an experience that only opens one's eyes to the diversity of human life around the world, but ultimately reveals the oneness of humanity. I urge all of you to take advantage of this opportunity to whatever extent you can. It really is a gift unlike any other.

-The comforts of the Western World.....while traveling is a blessing, it also helps reveal just how lucky we are back in the States (or other Western countries), and how our standard of living is truly exceptional. Some simple things we take for granted that I am right now sorely missing include hot water, drinkable water, grocery stores, peanut butter, real cheese, vegetables other than tomatoes/cucumbers/onions (that's all they have here), spring mattresses, washing machines and DRYERS!!!!!!!!!!, traffic laws that are actually enforced, hot tubs (best invention EVER), higher education, power that stays on the whole day, the ASPCA and other animal rights activists, accessible immunizations for deadly diseases, Whole Foods and Trader Joes, sushi, personal space, ice, margies, smoothies, air conditioning, tofu, Shirley Wongs, good Mexican food, gyms, El Coyote Fridays, Cat & Fiddle nights, and all the other little day to day things that we roll our eyes at that really aren't all that bad at all.

-Finally, I'm thankful that our country seems to be taking some positive steps forward with the outcome of the recent Congressional elections. It definitely eases my mind a bit to return home knowing that there may be hope of stopping the powers that be from wreaking more havoc on the world. The newstands here are just as full of headlines about the elections, and even the rickshaw drivers ask me about it almost every day. It's scary to think how much of an affect we have on the world at large, but empowering to know it may be possible to turn things around and hopefully make a POSITIVE impact going forward.

Anyway, folks, I guess it was a bit longer than expected, but nonetheless...Happy Thanksgiving to you all. I love you all, and can't wait to see you soon. And to those of you I won't be seeing soon....much love to you wherever you may be!

Much love
Cass

Mass Email - Paradise Found

Namaste all...

Well, I am now more than 3/4 of the way into my journey, with less than a month left in India!! It's quite hard to believe, as it seems the time has flown by, but at the same time, I feel as though I have lived a lifetime of experiences throughout my travels.

Arriving in the south was exciting, as this is the "vacation" part of my trip, but also a bit bittersweet to know that I am on the last leg of my travels, and already have so many warm memories to look back upon.

My time in Kochi was short but extremely positive. On my first day there, I met several very nice people with whom I shared some traditional Keralan ceremonies, as well as some traditional Keralan meals. One of the girls, Kristin, an adorable young woman from Australia (who has been living in the UK for the past 4 years) and I became close friends very quickly, and after spending a few days exploring Kochi together, we decided to take a 10 day trip further south down the coast together to spend 2 nights at Amma's Ashram, and the remainder of the time in Varkala Beach, and then fly up to Goa on the 24th.

Kochi (aka Fort Cochin) was a very peaceful ("shanti shanti" as they say here in India) small town located close to the Ocean with quite a few smaller islands off the coast (which, unfortunately, I never got a chance to see). It was the perfect combination of a small town feel with amazing tropical weather, complete with swaying coconut trees, colorful birds, fresh fish to eat, and the most incredible tropical storms that hit every night like clockwork for about an hour, lighting the town with flashes of lightning and sending thunder echoing down the alleyways. The town was small enough that one could walk around safely without getting lost, and tended to run into the same people every day, which is nice when traveling alone. I stayed at this small, family-run homestay called Wilson's Homestay, and quickly became very close friends with Wilson's mother and their "servant," Asha. I would spend hours in the mornings with them, helping them make breakfast, helping them with laundry (which is quite a task in India, let me tell you) and talking to them about anything and everything we were able to communicate between my lack of Hindi and their lack of English skills. They, like most of the women I've found here in India, were absolutely magnificent people with such warm hearts and an openness unlike any found in the states in most cases. They cried when I left, and begged me to write and send them photos of the 3 of us that I had taken with my camera. A beautiful time..

Kristin and I caught a taxi to Alleppey, a town about an hour south of Kochi, where we caught our backwater ferry the next morning to take us to Amma's Ashram. The 6 hour backwater ferry ride was surreal, as I felt I was drifting through a picturesque postcard or National Geographic documentary. Kristin and I talked about how easy it is to become desensitized to the beauty around us, as it really is quite unreal, yet all encompassing. We watched as incredibly-constructed bamboo houseboats drifted past us, tourists waving as the Indian men steered the boat along with very long bamboo rods they used to push from the bottom of the rivers. We caught snapshots of people's lives as we passed homes, schools, towns, women doing laundry, people bathing, workers in the fields, and children screaming from the shores asking us for pens.
We stopped halfway for lunch at the only building constructed on the land we were passing which was a restaurant apparently run for the sole purpose of feeding ferry passengers. They served us all traditional Keralan dishes on banana leaves....a huge pile of rice, several curries, a fried fish, and a quarter of a pineapple....all of which we had to eat "Indian style" with our fingers, which was interesting to say the least. The food was delicious though.

We arrived at Amma's Ashram around 4, and were amazed to see that it was an ENORMOUS highrise in the middle of miles and miles of coconut trees, rivers, and the ocean on the western side. It was quite an impressive facility, and the atmosphere was quite a bit to take in, as over 2000 devotees live there, walking around in their bleached white saris. There was a huge temple in the middle, surrounded by buildings housing visitors, as well as many shops, cafes and support centers. We had to do "seva" (service) in order to stay there, so we ended up doing dishes in the Western cafe and meeting some very nice (but very fanatical) devotees from around the world who had been living there for many years. We spent the rest of our time meditating, and watching the sunsets from our 15th floor view looking out over the ocean which lay a mere 300 feet in front of us. It was spectacular.

Yesterday we departed Amma's and arrived here in Varkala Beach, which is truly Paradise Found. We are staying at an oceanside guesthouse hidden among coconut trees with perfect little balconies facing the ocean, and absolutely everything we could possibly need within a stone's throw of us (restaurants, yoga centers, a German Bakery, internet, a beauty center for pedicures, massages and facials, shops, tailors, and most importantly a private beach along the legendary North Cliffs of Varkala). Today it has been raining all day, impeding our beach time, but making for a perfect opportunity to sit out on our balconies watching the ocean and catching up on some reading. Tomorrow I start a 3-day cooking class at one of the restaurants next door where I learn how to make traditional keralan thalis (which we sampled last night and are AWESOME)! I'm really excited to stick around here for a week or so before heading to Goa, and I'm even toying with the idea of staying for 2 weeks, and spending my last 2 weeks in Goa rather than having the extra week to leave open. We'll see, though...one never knows what will happen....the joy of traveling. :)

For now, I am soaking up the paradise around me, and enjoying my final days in India, awaiting what will come along next....

I hope everyone is well at home. It was great talking to some of you the past few days. I can't wait to get a chance to see you all in a month or so.

Much love,
Cass

Mass Email - Flying Solo in Kerala

Namaste all!
Ahhh...the life of a traveler....how it can change like a gust of wind....and so it has!
It has been many days and even more adventures since I've last written, so I suppose at least a synopsis is due.
Raydene and I spent about 10 days in Jaipur which, to me, was just a bit too many. Jaipur was an amazing city, but very large and extremely chaotic. We did, however, manage to do most of our Christmas shopping there, as it is the shopping capital of India (so we've been told), specializing in jewelry, clothing, shoes, fabrics, you name it. We also met some very interesting locals, a few of whom Raydene has become very close with. We used these connections to get good prices on jewelry, and - more importantly - to score some motorcycle rides to some more remote areas of Jaipur and outside the city. There were some amazing temples and forts in the surrounding hills which provided for some very scenic drives, idyllic sunsets and awesome photos.
After our over-stayed welcome in Jaipur, we ended up catching a ride on the back of the motorcyles of two rickshaw drivers we had befriended from Jaipur to take us the 3 hours to Pushkar, where we were to catch the famous Camel Festival. Despite having to spend most of the drive there slapping my drivers hands away from my leg and various other body parts, the drive was actually really amazing. We ended up leaving a bit late, which made for a perfect arrival into Pushkar, as we caught the sunset with the desert wind in our hair and the enormous, bright, red orb sinking slowly into the distant desert mountains. I reached for my camera to capture this scene, but decided to opt for a mental picture instead, as a photo could never capture the full gamet of the moment. It was, however, one of my favorites.
Pushkar was an incredible city, and I fell in love with it immediately. Raydene and I stayed at seperate hotels, as she had come with a "male friend" of hers from Jaipur, and I opted to stay out of such affairs. Therefore, I spent our 3 days in Pushkar happily exploring the city on my own, and ended up meeting some beautiful Israeli travelers my age with whom I became very close and spent the majority of my time. It was a bit surprising, as most of the Israelis in India (of which there are MANY) tend to travel in groups and not generally interact with other backpackers, so I was pleasantly surprised to meet these 4 people who were open to (and actually prefered) travelers from other countries. We did a lot of exploring around the outskirts of the city, and managed to catch the famous sunsets on the lake every single night.
Pushkar is a rather small city which is centered around a small lake (thought to be a teardrop from one of the Hindi gods...I can't remember which). It is a holy city, so many people come to bathe in the ghats surrounding the lake, and during the camel festival (which is actually just a sideshow of a sequence of holy days) the pilgrims seemed to appear tenfold. Every night at sunset people would gather around the lake, as local men banged on drums, as if to welcome the setting sun to its rest behind the desert hills. During the festival, candles were lit on the steps around the entire lake, making for a picturesque scene as bathers and tourists basked in the warm glow reflecting off the water. These sunsets were some of my most cherished memories of my trip thus far.
On my last night, before leaving on my 10pm bus, my friends and I decided to climb one of the nearby hills to catch the sunset from the top. The walk took us about an hour, as we stopped quite often to take pictures and admire the view that became increasingly breathtaking as we climbed higher and higher. At about halfway, an old Indian woman with eyes that sparkled more than her bright blue sari smiled and grabbed my hand, and we walked together in silence for the rest of the climb, helping each other up the steep stone stairs that led to the temple at the top. She did not speak a word of english, so we did little more than smile at one another, but the gesture spoke volumes and it was one of the most beautiful connections I've felt.
We reached the top and hiked out past the temple to the cliffs looking West over the barren desert. The 5 of us, and one solitary sadhu, sat on serperate rocks in silence as we watched the sky turn red, and then violet as the sun dissolved into the dusty desert sky. It was spectacular, and a perfect farewell to my Israeli friends and to the magical city of Pushkar.
Our bus arrived in Jailsamer (eastern Rajasthan, about 200km from Pakistan) in the morning and we arrived at our hotel in time to eat breakfast and take a swim in the pool outside our door (a coveted luxury). Jailsamer was a quaint town with a beautiful but typical Rajasthani fort, but I dont think either of us felt a connection with the city like some we've felt with other cities we've visited, particularly in the north. We aquiesced to the tourist stereotype and decided to take a 2 day/1 night camel safari. The 10 hours or so spent on the camels were probably some of the most painful and uncomfortable I've ever experienced, but the desert scenes were unparalleled. We watched the sunset from the Sam Sand dunes, and I truly felt that I was in a National Geographic special, seeing the vastness of the windblown dunes (complete with dune beatles, which I got a kick out of) and watching yet another fantastic sunset in the desert. As we were riding into our camp, I looked east and saw a HUGE, red orb in the sky. I was confused, having just watched the sunset and having ridden through the dark desert for about an hour since. Then it suddenly occured to me that it was the night of the Purnima (full moon), and that I was, in fact, witnessing a moonrise that I couldn't have possibly dreamed up. Despite my sore ass, I rode in complete awe the rest of the way to camp.
We spent the remaining couple of days relaxing by the pool in Jailsamer, and then departed by bus to Amedhabad to catch a flight to Mumbai, and then on to Kerala (down south). I had gotten food poisoning the night before we left, so the 12 hour bus ride was not very enjoyable for me, but I was feeling better once we arrived in Mumbai, and we spent our 6 hour layover running errands and taking a brief tour of the city (which very closely resembles Miami in climate and surroundings). On the drive back to the airport to catch our connecting flight, Raydene and I decided that we were ready to part ways, and I continued on to Kerala on my own. The initial feeling of being alone in India once more was admittedly a bit unnerving at first, but once I got on the plane, I felt overwhelmed with freedom and excitement of the prospects of being on my own to do as I choose for the remaining 5 weeks.
So, here I am in beautiful and tropical Kerala!! I am currently staying in Fort Cochin (also known as Kochi) which is an adorable and colorful town, bustling with locals and toursits, and a 5 minute walk from the sea. Having just arrived late last night, I have been spending today exploring the town and getting to know the people in the area. I think I will end up staying here for about a week or so, and then possibly heading south to Kanyakumari (the very tip of India where three oceans converge), and then either back to Kerala or straight up to Goa.
For those of you interested, I have a new cell phone number down here which I'll probably have for the remainder of my trip (unless I have to change it again in Goa).
The number is: 9846898445
for those calling from the US, dial: 001-91-9846898445
For those calling from India, dial: 0-9846898445
I know it's tough for those of you at home, but I would LOVE to hear from anyone, especially being alone. It was great to talk to those of you who called (thank you!), and if you want I can give you a calling card number to use so it's free for both of us (incoming calls are free for me). Or, you can email me your phone number and I'll give you a call.
I hope all is well back home, or in your travels...wherever you may be.
Much love to all
Cass

Mass Email - Catching Our Breath

Namaste All!

Well, we have managed to cover a lot of ground in the past few days! We left Manali after spending only about 24 hours there (just enough time to do some shopping and eat the first fish I've had since I left home), and we caught a night bus to Delhi. We were ready to leave Manali, as it was pouring rain and very cold. We had to wait in line to get our bags on the bus for about a half hour in the rain, and ended up soaked during our entire bus ride. Plus, I got stuck next to a snorer who apparently needed some affection, as he kept trying to lay on my shoulder and practically spoon me (apparently this is normal here), so I spent most of the bumpy ride to Delhi pushing him off of me.
Arriving in Delhi was a bit of a shock, as we have been so lucky to have spent the past 2 months in such beautiful mountainous areas with friendly people. Delhi is kind of like LA on acid, and with a bit more trash and pollution (if you can believe it)! The second we stepped foot off the bus we were swarmed by beggars and Rickshaw drivers trying to get our money, but were fortunate to be taken to a decent hotel with ROOM SERVICE and hot water that didnt run out on us during our showers!! The only reason we planned to come to Delhi was to pick up a few things that we can't get anywhere else (like an iPod charger and other electronics) and to mail a package home. However, to our great humor, we happened to arrive on the first day of the Diwali Festival, so everything was closed and we were unable to get any of our errands done. So, instead, we decided to partake in the festivities and make the most of our one night in Delhi!
The Diwali Festival is called the "Festival of Lights," and is supposed to symbolize (among many things) the ridding ourselves of darkness with light. The celebration is kind of like a combonation of Christmas and the 4th of July, as the cities are filled with colorful "Christmas" lights, flowers strung everywhere, and a warzone of fireworks going off constantly. The only shops open for service are the sweets stands, and it is customary to buy and consume copious amounts of sugar-filled ...anything!
We were fortunate to celebrate with an Indian family. Robin, the owner of the Lotus House where we stayed in Dharamsala, lives in Delhi, so we bought a box of sweets, got dolled up and took a 45 minute cab ride to his family's home.
When we got there, Robin was the only one home, but he went out and bought us some customary "Diwali" Food (which was like fried chapati in a sweet sauce with potatoes) and some vodka (NOT customary Diwali comsumptions). We sat in his family's very beautiful, and somewhat western, home and ate, drank and watched "The O.C." I laughed at the fact that the only time I"ve ever watched the show was here in India. After an hour or so, Robin's father came home and we helped them string lights on the house.
Robin's father, a gentle old man with an adorable pot belly, is a Vipassana teacher (as well as a politician, apparently), and when I told him I had just completed my frist 10 day Vipassana course, he insisted that he lead a meditation session. I was thrilled about this, but Raydene and Robin half-assedly participated while giggling in the background. He lit candles and incense, and offered prasad (an offering of sweets) to his statue of Buddha, and set up pillows around the statue for us to sit. He led a chant in Hindi, and talked about Dhamma (Buddha's teachings) in a way that gave me chills because of it's striking reference to Goenka's discourses during the Vipassana course. I was so excited to be in his presence and to hear him speak so passionately about something that I had just been immersed in for 10 days. It felt validating and strangely comforting just to be in the presence of someone who had not only experienced a Vipassana course (as it did with my friends in McLeod), but who was so learned in the teachings. I felt like I wanted to soak up everything he had to say, and I felt humbled by his gentle but penetrating eye contact as he spoke.

Raydene and Robin retreated back to the kitchen, but I stayed with Robin's father and talked to him a bit about my experience at the Vipassana center, and about the friends with whom I had shared the experience. When I told him that we had all parted ways about a week ago, he asked me if I was experiencing any loss in their absence. I told him that I was, and he smiled and nodded knowingly, saying that when people leave a Vipassana course (even their first), they tend to find a strong inner need to surround themselves with people who have practiced Vipassana. He suggested that we sit together and offer Metta to my friends (a meditation offering love and compassion to all living beings). Very moved by his suggestion, I complied. I told him that my friends would be visiting him and Robin soon, and that they would love to sit with him and learn from his experiences, and he assured me he would do so.
After sitting, he showed me his meditation room where people from town come to sit every morning at 6am. He also showed me his antique collection of all the original books of Buddha's teachings (that are over 2500 years old)! He, apparently, has written books condensing these teachings so as to make them more accessible for people to read. Even though it was not necessarily a traditional Diwali celebration, I very much enjoyed my time talking to Robin's father, and felt a great deal of comfort after the past few hectic days of traveling.

Yesterday morning we woke up early and hired a driver to take us through "The Golden Triangle" (Delhi - Agra - Jaipur). We drove about 5 hours to Agra to see the Taj Mahal, which was a surreal experience to be in the presence of one of the less-frequently visited wonders of the world. It was just as beautiful as would be expected, and we soaked up as much of the grounds as we could before heading west to Jaipur.
We arrived in Jaipur last night around 10pm, only to learn that our driver not only didn't speak a word of English, but had never been to Jaipur before! We drove around for about an hour trying to find a guesthouse, when he finally dumped us at a trashy hotel in the middle of the city (which was still a mass of humanity due to the Diwali festivities). After a restless night of fireworks and car horns, we woke up this morning and found ourselves a beautiful guesthouse just outside of the city called the Evergreen Hotel. It lives up to it's name, with beautiful, shady gardens on the grounds, a swimming pool, shops, a restaurant, and an internet cafe!
Being immersed in the city life of India will definitely take some adjusting, but I think we are ready to set some roots here for a week or so (since we bought ourselves some extra time by skipping Nepal). We will most likely stay here until the end of the month before heading to Pushkar for the camel festival, and then onto the other parts of Rajasthan.
Jaipur is a chaotic but colorful city that seems to have a great deal to offer. I'm looking forward to unpacking my backpack for a while and taking some time to lay out at the pool and catch up on some reading, as well as wander the city streets and see what there is to see here.

I hope everyone is well back at home, or wherever you may be. It's always so great to hear from all of you.

Much love,
Cass

Mass Email - Heading South For the Winter

Namaste all

I know it has been a while since I've written en mass, but the past few weeks have been perhaps the most profound of my life and I've had a hard time articulating my experiences in a single email. So, instead, I'll give a brief synopsis (VERY brief), and will have to fill in the gaps with each of you in person.

We ended up staying in Dharamsala a couple weeks longer than planned, rather than going back to Rishikesh for our trek. The primary reason for this was the fact that, the day we arrived at the trian station, we met 3 guys my age from LA who I could describe as nothing short of soulmates. Raydene and I literally had to jump off the moving train as it began leaving Chakki Bank station, since we almost slept through our stop. This was perhaps one of the funniest things I've ever witnessed, and once we were both safely on the ground we laughed-so-hard-that-we-cried all the way to the main platform of the train station where we stopped, mid laughter, to ask a tall blonde guy if we were at the right stop. The tall blonde guy, Clay, and his 2 travel partners, Eliot and Jesse (twin brothers), told us we were indeed in the right place. The 3 of them are from LA, but just graduated from college and are traveling through India together. It turned out they were doing the same Vipassana meditation course I was, and within 5 minutes the 5 of us were family.
We shared a cab for the 3 hour ride to McLeod Ganj, and ended up posting up in a 5 room guesthouse (which just fit all of us and the owners) on top of a mountain in Dharamkot called The Lotus House. This became the structural "home" that housed our family for the next 3 weeks. We became instantly close with the 2 men running the place, Robin & Vinnie, and all of us cooking dinners every night and sat out on the open-air veranda eating, drinking and enjoying the stars which seemed so close you could grab them.
The guys and I left Raydene and the owners behind for 10 days to do the Vipassana meditation course. To describe the experience in the Dhamma center is absolutely impossible, and a story I'll have to save for face-to-face conversations. It was by far the most challenging thing I've ever done, and it made the 4 of us a million times closer by the 10th day when we were free to leave. We were greeted by Raydene and Vinnie, and the feeling of leaving the center and going somewhere so close to a real home and family was the warmest feeling. What happened between all of us, and the memories we shared in the week and half after Vipassana was something only the 7 of us living up there will ever understand, but I can say that those 17 days were the best days of my life.
We parted ways with very heavy hearts a couple days ago, the boys heading to Rajasthan, and Raydene and I to Manali (farther north). We all plan to meet up in Goa at the end of November to finish up our trip together.
Manali is a beautiful mountain city in the Himalayas, but it is rainy and dreadfully cold here, and the tourist season is over, so all of the shops and restaurants are closed. We arrived very early yesterday morning, and are catching a bus back to Delhi this evening. We've decided we are done with the cold weather in the north, and ready to immerse ourselves in the sweltering heat and chaos of southern India.
We are heading to Delhi, then to Agra (to see the Taj Mahal), then to Rajasthan for a few weeks before heading down to Kerala and Goa. It has been nice to have a rough plan, but to have reason to change the plans has been even more rewarding, and makes us feel like real travelers. :)

My mind is flooded with sentiment for the past few weeks, as well as excitement to get back to the real India and continue our adventures. I'm sorry for the brevity of this email, but I'm sure stories of McLeod will surface throughout my next emails.

I hope everyone is well. I have loved hearing from all of you and hearing about all of the wonderful (and sometimes crazy) things you are all doing. All of you are in my thoughts always.

Be well and keep in touch.

Much love
Cass

Mass Email - The Last Email For a While

Namaste all...

Well, today is my last day/night at Ramana's Garden. For those of you looking at your calendars in confusion, yes, I am leaving a bit early. This past month has been one of the most challenging and eye-opening, yet equally rewarding, I've known. Living with, and learning from these kids has been one of the most bountiful experiences I've ever had in my life. No expectations could have ever prepared me for how deeply they have touched me, and how much I have learned about myself and my role in this world. To watch these kids live every day with such gratitude, and to face the world and everyone they meet with such open hearts, despite their horrific pasts, has been truly humbling. It has made me realize how closed off so many of us (defintely myself) are to each other and to everything we are SO blessed with.
On the flip side, it has been so disheartening to see so much of the corruption and lack of humanity in the role of Prabha, the woman who founded and claims to run Ramana's Garden. There is so much I could share about the difficulties each of the volunteers and staff have encountered in dealing with her, but those are stories to be told at another time. What she has started here in Rishikesh with Ramana's Garden is something unparalleled anywhere else in India. It is truly a remarkable endeavor, and I respect her immensely for the foundation she has built here. Ramana's is a place where kids can come to have a family, build a foundation for themselves, learn to live independently within their own culture and beliefs, and to hopefully become the kind of adults who are capable and motivated to change India and make it a better place for future generations. I believe whole-heartedly in this mission, and their ability to do so. Unfortunately, though, one person's human struggles (and without question, 30 years of living in and dealing with India), has created a very dark force within the institution that is so powerful that it has driven, and continues to drive, people away from Ramana's Garden.
There is no doubt in my mind that I will return to Ramana's Garden at a later point in my life. Even in these few short weeks, this place, the energy surrounding it, and these incredible people and children have become so much a part of me that I am forever changed. However, all of the volunteers I"ve been working with have collectively decided that being here during this time when Prabha's corruptive and destructive control over us, the children, and the politics and spirituality of Ramana's is too toxic for us to stay here at this time. After a very bizarre series of events (which will remain to be told at a later date) all of us have decided to end our time at Ramana's this week, and go our seperate ways.

On a lighter note....last night all of the volunteers went out for our last dinner together at a restaurant halfway between Rishikesh and Haridwar, appropriately named "Midway" Restaurant. This is the only place in Uttaranchal (the state in which we are) where you can legally buy alcohol. Since none of us had had any kind of alcohol in a month or longer, we managed to get nice and silly pretty quickly, which made for a very entertaining night to say the least! :) (Granted, "nice and silly" was the product of 2 beers, a pathetic claim coming from a former Boulder student and EMI employee). The restaurant was by far the nicest we've been to in India thus far. We all sat at proper tables with actual chairs (we usually sit on the ground) on this huge open lawn under the stars and fireflies (which are often hard to distinguish). I had my first Tikka Masala (my favorite Indian dish which I havent been able to find yet) and naan, along with various appetizers and our favorite dessert called "Hello To The Queen." This is a very popular dessert in India, and it's made of crushed cookies, ice cream, fried bananas and chocolate syrup. It's a feast to be had, although we have all agreed it should instead be named "Hello To The John" since it tends to do a number on the ol' digestive system...
After a 4 hour meal and drinking session, the 6 of us stumbled out to the street to wait for a Rickshaw to take us on the bumpy, loud, exhaust-filled 30 minute drive back to Laxman Jhula where we tripped over cow patties and ran from monkies, giggling our pathetically drunk selves back to our rooms. I have really enjoyed working with the other volunteers. I feel very fortunate to have met such great people with whom I feel very connected. Since most of us are leaving to travel, we are all planning to meet up in Jaipur in November for a 3 day dance festival, which is the first of it's kind in India and has been the talk of the town everywhere I've been.

So, the past few days have been bittersweet, spending as much time as I can with the kids (particularly the girls) with whom I've become very close. There is one group of about 6 or 7 girls, all around 11-12 years old, who have become very close to my heart. We spend hours just sitting in my room talking about girl things, painting or knitting, or - my personal favorite passtime of theirs - giving massages! All of the older kids are certified massage therapists, and they LOVE to give massages to all of the volunteers (who of course are very supportive of this activity). I kid you not when I say that I have gotten some of the best massages I've ever had in my life from some of these kids! They do the whole package, starting with your head and neck, all the way to your legs and feet, and they will seriously do this for HOURS! We figured that if they offer to do it, and enjoy it at that, then we can't feel guilty for partaking in child labor.
I have been getting cards and letters from the kids that are some of the most touching (and heartbreaking) I've ever received. Saying things like "please don't ever forget me when you go back to your other life," or "you will always be my sister, and I will see you in my next life because family always meets again" made my heart heavy at the thought of leaving them. However, it made me feel even more confident that I will return once the "regime" of Ramana's has undergone some changes (which it is looking like it will be in the near future). Much like the US, major corporations and organizations, and countries all over the world, the corruption of those at the top only magnifies the needs of those at the bottom. Please don't let the stories of Prabha dissuade you from seeing the needs of these kids.

So...tomorrow I take off for my travels! As I mentioned, I am traveling with another one of the volunteers, and we have pretty much solidified our itinerary. I'm including a very messy map of my route so that you can see where I'll be going. Please forgive the horrible drawing skills, as this computer has limited resources! :)

September 28: we take a train from Rishikesh to Dharamsala/McLeod Ganj where we will spend the first couple of days sightseeing, and then part ways for almost 2 weeks while I do a 10 day Vipassana Meditation course. During this time I will be out of contact, as I am not allowed to speak, write, or leave the premises for the duration of the session.
October 12: I finish my Vipassana at 7am, and we catch an evening train back to Rishikesh where we'll spend one night before leaving for our 9 day trek.
October 14-23: We take off for our 9-day trek to Kuari Pass, where we'll see the famous Nanda Devi peak in the Himalaya mountain range. (Hell ya!)
October 24: We'll most likely head back to Delhi for the night
October 25-29: We fly from Delhi to Kathmandu, where we'll spend 4 days in Nepal before returning to Delhi..not quite sure what to expect just yet!
October 30: We start the "Golden Triangle" route, heading from Delhi to Agra to see the Taj Mahal (supposedly the only real sight to see in Agra).
October 31: We'll spend an un-celebrated Halloween in Jaipur, most likely staying for a day or two, as it's supposed to be an amazing city!
November 3-5: We head to Pushkar to catch the last few days of the famous Pushkar Camel Festival, where musicians, performers, snake-charmers and camel vendors come to celebrate....well....camels, I guess?
November 6-26: We spend most of November exploring the awesome state of Rajasthan. We meet up with some of our volunteer friends back in Jaipur for a couple days of dancing madness in the desert, then to Jailsamer where we take a 3 day camel trek through the desert (yup, that's right...riding camels)! Then we head to Udaipur, named the "Venice of India" to see the famous lake palace. Aside from those few sights, the time spent in-between is pretty much up in the air.
November 27 (ish): Fly from Amhedabad to Kerala, where we'll spend a week or two cruising through the green rivers and swamps.
December: We end our trip together in Goa, where we plan to indulge in every way possible for a few weeks, spending our days on the beach and embracing our dirty-hippie-traveler-ness before I head back to Delhi to catch my flight back to the Western World just in time for Christmas (and possibly a trip down to LA to move out of my apartment and visit everyone)!

So, for now, it's time to say my goodbyes, pack up my backpack, and enjoy my last few hours with the kids and other volunteers. This will be my last email for a couple of weeks, most likely, but I will send another when I return to Rishikesh before leaving for our trek.

To leave you all on a characteristically cheezy note...Last night at Satsong one of the American students in the LeapNow group that is staying with us right now brought his guitar and played several "western" songs to which we all sang along. He ended his "set" with Landslide and made quite a few of us a bit teary. Sitting in this dome, lit only by some lotus flower lanterns the kids had made, with 3 or 4 children sitting in my lap or clutching my arms, hands and legs, I couldn't help but look around and feel overwhelmed by the presence of all these little people who had managed to change my life and open up my heart amid all the challenges of the last month. Going in I feared that my inner-child was not strong enough to open up to all of these kids, and to give them all the love and attention they truly deserved. Just as this thought was crossing my mind, I locked eyes with Naina, the girl with whom I've become exceptionally close, and the boy singing sang the words "Mirror in the sky, what is love? Can the child within my heart rise above?" Naina and I smiled at each other and as she squeezed my hand and layed her head in my lap, I realized that -because of her and all the kids - the child within my heart indeed had.

Much love
Cass